The Girl in the Red Glass
by Vergil Creiger
Summary: An eight year old Naruto does the impossible, actually finding someone worse off than himself, and swears to always be there for her. Even if he has to give up, say, an eye, an arm, both legs, his voice and of course... his soul, to do so.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer;** I do not own Naruto.

Chapter 1

For all of us there comes an important decision that will define us for the rest of our lives. It can be subtle, or it can be glaringly obvious, but it's always there.

There was a hero, a hero who would fight the odds, for his friends, for the world, and for himself. There would come a time when he was alone, hated for something he could not control. There would come a time when he was surrounded by friends, loved for his deeds and his most pure of hearts. And there would come a time when he was alone once more, standing amidst the ruins of a butchered planet, a blade that could shatter the bonds of time held in his hand.

It would take one such decision to bring him to that point, though he would not be the one to make it.

xxx

Gaara was eight years old. He had black bags around his eyes from lack of sleep, though they were not nearly so bad as they would become in the future. Those of his home would call him a psychopathic killer, regardless of the fact that he only ever killed in self-defense. Gaara himself wasn't particularly thinking about death right then. Instead, he was attempting to clean his teddy bear in a stream. As he did he was watched by his two older siblings, who were wondering vaguely if he was about to eat them.

Gaara had been blamed for a lot of things lately. He was blamed for his mother's death, for the corpses of careless assassins that inevitably turned up in the streets each night, even a nasty case of flu that had been circulating around Suna recently, when none of it was particularly his fault. After the thing with the flu, Elder Chiyo had decided enough was enough, and taken the child with her to Fire Country for a good, soul soothing camping trip.

Which brings us to the current situation.

Gaara held the teddy up to the light and examined it critically. "Does this smell funny to you?"

Temari started like a frightened rabbit, as this was the first time in living memory her younger brother had addressed her directly. "Er..."

"Well?" He shoved the stuffed toy into her face, and her nostrils were immediately assailed by the unmistakable smell of fresh urine. Her eyes homed in on where her brother had just been washing his bear, traveled upstream and landed on the final sibling, Kankuro, standing mostly behind a tree. Even from there, she could clearly hear the sounds of her brother relieving himself into the water.

A few seconds later, and Kankuro got to experience the joy of being kicked face first into a pile of sharp rocks. "KANKURO! YOU PIG!"

The catsuit clad boy came up spluttering and sporting a broken nose. "WHAT THE HELL D'YOU THINK YOU'RE-"

"Wait a minute," Both children turned to the side, where Gaara had dropped his teddy on the floor, and was now staring at it in undisguised horror. "You mean you... that my bear was..."

"Oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god, I'M GUNNA DIE!" thought Kankuro.

"CHIYO!" sobbed Gaara, running off in a random direction. "KANKURO PEED ON MR BEAR!"

The remaining siblings looked at each other in confusion. Mr Bear? "Ahem," The two turned around, immediately cringing beneath the overwhelming killer intent the looming figure was letting off. "Kankuro," said Chiyo pleasantly. "Do you understand why I'm displeased with you?"

"ItwasanaccidentIswear," he sobbed fearfully.

"Was it?" said Gaara, peeping timidly around Chiyo's leg.

"Yes, I was upstream and I really needed to go and-"

"Okay, I forgive you." The red haired child walked over to his downed toy and began to poke it with a stick. Chiyo gave a weary sigh, then turned to the eldest boy. "Get some berries. You know what type." She turned away as he ran off, wondering when would learn to stop peeing on things, when she noticed Temari staring at Gaara with a look of blatant disbelief on her face.

She walked up to him. "Gaara," she said quietly, flinching when he turned to look at her. "What are you doing?"

He gave her a sober look. "I'm checking to see if he's still alive."

Her village was terrified of this?

She watched him poke the bear for a few moments more before coming to a decision. "Kankuro's gone to collect some berries... would you like to come along?"

Gaara's head whipped around so hard she was amazed it didn't come flying off. "You want me to come along? Really?"

"Er, sure?" She hated how it came out like a question, but Gaara didn't seem to mind. With a deafening squeal of joy, he leapt forwards and attached himself to her hip, nuzzling into her side adoringly.

"I love you Temari!"

Never again.

Never again would she think her little brother a monster.

Never again.

Gaara watched as his siblings argued amidst the bushes. Was this what it was like? To have a family?

A flash of movement caught his eye.

In an open patch of grass beyond the trees, a group of young boys were surrounding a girl his own age, their intent obviously hostile, with short, bluish hair with two long strands coming down to frame her face. Even from where he was standing he noticed her peculiar eye color, with irises so pale they blended with the whites around them, and no pupils to speak of.

He knew what they were doing, as it or something similar had been done to him many times before. But it was different here, as mother's sand wasn't appearing to protect the girl as it did for him. Did she not have a mother?

"Gaara, where are you?"

He was startled out of his reverie, noticing for the first time how far away his brother and sister had wandered. He looked back at the girl, wondered if he should help...

For the first time in his life, his siblings were treating him as family, as a person, as a _human being._

He turned away.

And with that decision...

That single, selfish decision...

The world was doomed.

**A new story here. Will contain Super!Naruto, NaruHina, NaruFemHaku (not harem) and occasionally characters from other animes. In particular, this fic was inspired by an anime called 11eyes, which nobody seems to know about. This fic will be relatively lighthearted, with Naruto (while more serious than his canon counterpart) being a bit of a playboy as things go on. He will, however, eventually, settle down, with either Hinata (as tradition dictates) or Haku (who's a girl dammit!)**

**There will be a great deal of sad moments in this fic, bordering on tragic towards the end. However, there WILL be a happy ending, whether you like it or not.**


	2. Lisette

**Disclaimer;** I do not own Naruto.

Chapter 2

Naruto stood with a hand on his chin, debating his options. On the one hand there was the enormous fence in front of him, complete with barbed wire and so many warning signs (such as 'WARNING' and 'DANGER' and 'GET THE F£$% OUT OF HERE' and blah blah blah...) that the fence itself was nigh invisible. On the other hand, there was the screaming angry mob - a few of them actually holding torches and pitchforks - currently charging up behind him.

Decisions, decisions...

_A short time earlier..._

Naruto walked through the market, trying to ignore the hateful stares of those around him. He didn't know why they hated him, and he didn't care, but it still made life difficult, and was annoying. Hoping this was one of his better days, he walked up to a vendor and asked for some vegetables.

"Get away from my stall, you filthy demon! We don't want your kind around here." the man sneered.

Ah, crap.

He was about to turn and go home when a devious thought occurred to him. Turning back to the merchant, he leaned forward and gave him his most sadistic grin. "Give me what I want," he hissed in an exaggeratedly demonic voice. "Or I'll eat your soul." Since this was an eight year old talking, most people would shrug such behavior off as playing around. But because this was Naruto the man soon found himself recoiling in terror and hurriedly shoving what he wanted in a brown paper bag. As the child skipped off with his prize in hand, the merchant couldn't help but wonder, somewhat generically, _Could the Kyuubi be about to escape?_

A short period of time later and the merchant - along with a large group of friends - was chasing the blond through Konoha, their serpentine route taking them inexorably (and inadvertently) to the infamous Forest of Death.

Which leads to the current situation.

Naruto had always tried to be a good boy, had tried to gain the approval of those around him. He had laughed, he had smiled, he had shown kindness and forgiveness to those who didn't deserve it.

And what did he get in return?

In return, society shunned him. His smiles were met with glares, his laughs with thrown rocks and refuse, his kindness and forgiveness with cruelty and malice. Children were told to ignore him, shop owners either chased him away with weapons or overcharged him beyond rationality, mobs pinned him down and beat him publicly and the ninja, the so called 'protectors' of Konoha regularly attempted to assassinate him.

He looked at the mob. They were closing in.

Screw this.

Naruto reached inside himself for the power that had always been there, and likely always would. This was the power that kept kept him alive, that healed his wounds when he was hurt, sharpened his senses when he was hunted, and gave him strength when he was weak. He raised his hand and swiped at the fence with nails that had sharpened into claws, rending a gaping hole into the wire before dropping to all fours and leaping through; bolting into the shadows of the tall, dark trees.

He ignored the bloody gashes covering his body, an unfortunate side effect of jumping through broken wire.

He'd had worse.

XXX

Naruto lay at the base of the tree, panting for breath. The power had left his body, as it always did eventually, and left every muscle in his body screaming in agony, as though someone were cooking each individual sinew of his body with a slow burning match. By this point, however, he was used to it, so no harm done.

When he could eventually bring himself to move he dragged himself to his feet, placing one hand on the rough, ancient bark of the tree to steady himself, then suddenly realized something.

Naruto had absolutely no idea where he was.

Once he was done swearing, the blond child chose a random direction and wandered off, hoping that somehow he'd live through the experience. Of course, since it was Naruto, he HAD to walk in the opposite direction to Konoha, and a giant centipede just HAD to follow him in hopes of food, and he just HAD to walk right into a den of tigers, or he would have, if it weren't for the fact that he just HAD to fall into the incredibly deep hole that was hidden by an unhealthy looking shrub, a hole that was narrow, but of course just HAD to be wide enough for him to fall down.

Because Naruto Uzumaki's life was just that lousy.

Roughly 10 seconds after falling down the aforementioned hole Naruto blearily opened his eyes, having recovered from a life threatening concussion in the time it would take most people to die from it; but then that was nothing new. He couldn't see a thing, as no light managed to make it's way down; blocked by both the shrub that hid the hole and the foliage far above it. If he stretched out his hands, however, he could feel the rough texture of rock, in all directions but one. He set of in this last direction, hoping, futilely, that it was a way out.

He did not notice the enormous centipede from earlier crawling down the hole after him.

For what seemed like hours, but was actually only a few minutes, Naruto wandered in the dark, drawing ever closer to his destiny. A dim, red light shone ahead. He walked towards it.

The tunnel opened out into a huge cavern, a hundred meters wide in all directions and with a huge, rocky roof that arched magnificently overhead, hanging a haphazard arrangement of stalactites from its belly. The floor was of a smooth, black rock, one that Naruto couldn't recognize but would later learn was obsidian. In the center of the chamber was a cluster of Naruto-sized crystals, so crimson and clear they looked less like crystals and more like a pure, red glass. Each crystal stuck out from the central point in a random direction, giving the cluster a vaguely hedgehog like look. Other small clusters dotted the floor, but this was by far the biggest. Protruding vertically upwards from the center of the formation was a crystal far bigger than the rest, tall enough to scrape the ceiling and wider than an Akimichi on his birthday. And there, looking as if she was floating in a river of blood, was a girl.

The girl in the red glass.

She was beautiful, as pure as a drop of rain melted from a snowflake in the sun. She seemed relatively young, around the age of fifteen, and was wearing a loose fitting white dress that fell to her ankles, long enough that only her toes were visible. The dress itself was extremely old-fashioned, in a medieval-western-style sort of way, falling in delicate folds to her ankles. But it wasn't her dress Naruto was looking at.

Her face was that of an angel's, delicate cheekbones defined against pale skin and long white hair reaching down to just below her hips. Her eyes were closed, her head leaning forward and resting gently on her hands, clasped over her heart as if in prayer. Her body, hanging suspended in the red, was thin and frail, looking as fragile as the glass within which she was entombed.

She opened her eyes, clear and blue green like the sea. And in a voice like moth wings on paper, she whispered,

"_Save me."_

Around the room, seven black shapes stirred at her words.

Naruto gave a loud snort of laughter. "Are you kidding me?"

One girl and seven shadows stared at him in shock. What did he just say?

"First of all," said the blonde. "You've been in there for how long?"

Realizing he'd just asked her a question, she stammered out a response. "I-I d-don't know. A while, I guess..."

"Good, now, have you noticed yourself age at all while you were in there?"

"Now that you mention it..."

"This seal of yours keeps you eternally young, while you have no way of measuring time while in this cavern. In other words, you could have been in here for anything from a year to a century, which takes one HELL of a seal to accomplish. Now, what makes you think an eight year old child could break such a seal?"

The girl suddenly seemed to be struck by the stupidity of her request. "Oh... crap." she said lamely.

"This is _not_ the first time an immortal entity has asked me to unseal them." said Naruto, and a voice in his head called him a rude word. "So what's your name?"

"Lisette. You?"

"Naruto Uzumaki. So, do you mind telling me _why _you're in there."

"Well, I was captured..."

"Who by?"

"Er..."

"You don't remember?"

"I've been in here a long time!"

"Still, it was a big moment, it should have stuck in your memory." Naruto sat on the ground, stroking his whiskers thoughtfully. "Maybe the seal took away your memories, then you would've developed as an alternate personality."

Lisette looked affronted. "Are you saying I don't exist."

"To an extent," said Naruto, heedless of the infuriated look on her face. "What's the last thing you remember before you were sealed?"

"Nothing specific, just a lot of hate and sorrow."

"Directed at?"

"..."

"Come on, you can say it."

"The world... just... the world."

"Ah," said Naruto, leaning backwards. "You were probably trying to destroy the universe, the usual crap. And you must've had the power to follow through, or whoever sealed you wouldn't have bothered. If that's the case, then if I _did _unseal you, not only would you die and your original self take over, but the world would be obliterated soon afterwards."

Her shoulders slumped. "So it's stay in here or die."

"Indeed." he nodded. "Don't worry. At least you have me."

Lisette was about to shrug this of, then saw something flicker in the child's eyes. The smallest flicker of hope. "Don't you have friends or family you'd rather be with?" To her surprise, he shook his head.

"None on both accounts. The whole damn village hates my guts."

"OH MY GOD!"

"Yeah, tell me about it."

"NOT THAT! BEHIND YOU!"

"Wha-" Naruto turned around just in time to see an enormous centipede, all skittering legs and clacking mandibles, lunge down at him for a meal-

-before being crushed into a pulp by a club the size of a house.

"Hey kid, you alright?"

Naruto looked up in horror. The club was being held by a huge black _thing _that had just dropped down from the ceiling. It was almost as tall as Lisette's crystal, with arms longer than it's body and a head that, instead of being on a neck, seemed to be attached to his collarbone. The head itself was shaped something like a sun, sporting a big clown mouth and no other facial features besides.

"Gula, I think you scared him." Naruto whipped his head around so fast it almost came of. This new one was smaller, dainty and quite obviously female, and like the first on had a mouth but no eyes. She had huge red wings coming out the back of her head, and her forearm resembled a cross between a sword and a spear.

"I say we kill him now." Another one of the creatures stepped out from behind the fat one, where it had apparently been hiding. This one was the same size as the second one, male, and had no important features other than that instead of a mouth with no eyes it had eyes with no mouth.

"Once again you live up to your namesake, Ira." The one that that floated down from the ceiling looked like a big black satellite with two faces on the front. Nuf said.

Before anyone could say anything else, two more of the things phased into existence in front of Lisette's crystal. The first was tall, male, regal enough that it could wear a cape without looking stupid and had no discernible face whatsoever. The other was the second female of the group, and the _only _one to have a full face. This would have made her more approachable, if it weren't for the slim, meter long blades sticking out of her forearms.

The regal one raised his arms. "Greetings human. I am Avaritia, the woman next to me is my second in command Superbia, the other woman is Invidia, the floating one is Acedia, the one who saved you is Gula, and the little one next to him is Ira. Together we are the Black Knights," Here he flared his cape out dramatically. "Guardians of the Tomb of Liselotte!"

Naruto stared at him for a good ten seconds before falling over laughing. "Liselotte?" said Lisette in disbelief. "That's my real name? It SUCKS!"

Avaritia turned and looked at her. "We thought you knew."

"Says the man who maintains my amnesia."

"Hm... touché."

Naruto sat up, suddenly serious. "Okay, first question." Avaritia braced himself, knowing the boy had picked up on the fact that he was maintaining Lisette's seal. "How do you, the midget and the satellite talk without mouths?"

...or not.

**First of, Lisette and all six Black Knights are from the 11eyes anime, so if you want to see what they look like, go watch it. Also, if you think Naruto seems too smart, its just cuz he had to grow up quickly.**


	3. Adopted

**Disclaimer;** I do not own Naruto.

Chapter 3

"Okay, so, let me get this straight. You guys used to be from a group of supernatural mercenaries called Index, right?"

There were six nods. Only six, because Acedia didn't have a head. "Actually, Index weren't mercenaries," corrected Avaritia. "We were an organisation dedicated to the protection and continuing peace of the planet Earth."

Naruto raised an eyebrow. "Then who funded you?"

"We operated mostly on donations."

"From who? You said before it was a secret group."

"Hm... I never thought of that."

Naruto shook his head. "Some leader you are. What were we talking about... oh yeah. So, Liselotte comes out of nowhere, and she's all like, 'I KEEL U!' and you guys are all like, 'NO U WON'T!' and have a huge ass fight-"

"Actually, it wasn't much of a fight," Avaritia interrupted. "We hid behind some rocks, then nailed her with the sealing spell as she walked past."

"Nailed me did you?" said Lisette dryly.

"Anyway," said Naruto, who was annoyed because everybody kept interrupting him. "I was just wondering, how long have you guys been in here?"

"Far too long." said Acedia dryly. There was a long moment of silence, then...

"Dude, you sound different."

"But I haven't spoken yet."

"Yes you did."

"No, that was Acedia."

"Aren't you Acedia?"

"No."

"Then who are you?"

"Scholastica."

"Oh." Naruto turned to Avaritia. "Dude, you _lied _to me."

"No I didn't."

"Yes you did."

"No I didn't."

"Yes you did. You said his name was Acedia."

"I am Acedia."

"But I thought you were Scholastica?"

"I am Scholastica."

"But you just said you were Acedia."

"Indeed I did."

"ARGH!"

Gula sighed and palmed his face. "Acedia and Scholastica were part of the group from Index. However, when the effects of the seal turned us into the Black Knights they were joined together into one body. Probably because Scholastica is Acedia's sister."

Naruto nodded, absorbing the information. "So there were seven of you, not six."

"No, it was definitely six." said Invidia. "Superbia joined us later."

Naruto looked at the woman in question curiously. "If you're not from Index, where did you learn magic?"

She shrugged. "I'm self-taught, from books mostly."

"Ah," said Naruto wisely. "So that's how you helped cast the seal."

"I didn't help. I was busy killing Liselotte's servants at the time."

Naruto blinked slowly, and every female in the room was suddenly struck by how adorable he was, a fact they had not yet noticed due to his surprisingly world-weary demeanor. "Then why did you change into a Black Knight?" Everyone turned to look at her, as this was actually a damn good question.

"I didn't," she said calmly. "This is an illusion that I maintain at all times."

A pause, then...

"WHAT!"

"Would you like me to... take it of?" Avaritia tried to ignore how provocative that sounded.

"Sure, go ahead."

And that was how Naruto met his mother.

XXX

Sarutobi sat in his office, puffing on his pipe and methodically sloughing through the immense heap of paperwork (Seriously, was there no end to the stuff?) as his thoughts slowly turned to his favorite Jinchuriki.

He hadn't seen Naruto in days. He had been meaning to check up on him, but he'd just been so _busy, _what with the paperwork and handing out missions and paperwork and meetings and paperwork and...

The door slammed open, and his pipe dropped from his lips.

She was tall, and slender like a willow tree. Her delicate body was garbed in a form fitting kimono, white with pink blossoms and long enough to be considered conservative, while short enough that the pale, shapely section of leg it oh-so tantalizingly revealed would drive any man crazy. Her immaculate raven hair cascaded down her back, with a few bold strands caressing the front of her modest bust. And then there was her face. OH GOD! Her face was perfect and porcelain, ivory cheeks and ebony lashes framing eyes so clear and pure that the gems in the crown of an emperor would seem like pebbles in comparison. And her lips – her glorious ruby lips – parting slowly over perfect, pearly teeth to say in a demure, yet incredibly sensual voice,

"Hello."

The aged Hokage suddenly found himself on his knees in front of her, whispering, "I adore you."

She laughed, a sound like the peals of angel's bells, and cupped his face in her hand. "I am Misao Kusakabe, and I have a favor," she purred. "If you will indulge me."

"Anything."

Again that beautiful laugh. Oh, how unworthy was he! "I want..."

Yes.

"I want..." Her voice had taken on a husky quality, and she was slowly leaning down towards him.

Yes!

"I want..." Their cheeks were touching now, and he could feel her breath on his ear.

YES!

"To adopt Naruto Uzumaki."

...

...huh?

XXX

"She's _persuasive._" said Naruto. He and the Black Knights were in Lisette's cave, looking into a pool of water that seemed to function in much the same way as the crystal ball that Sarutobi used to peek into the women's baths.

"Damn straight she is." said Avaritia. "How do you think she got us to let her come with us."

"So... if she's adopting me, where do I live?"

And just like that, all hell broke loose.

"Ira, go mug a mattress store!"

"Done."

"Invidia, get an electric blanket!"

"Will do!"

"Gula, remind yourself how to cook."

"Roger."

"Lisette, keep these two morons," Here he jerked his thumb at the floating black satellite. "Out of trouble."

"Must I?"

"And I'll go get kitchen supplies!"

And in the flurry of activity that followed, Naruto somehow ended up on the streets of Konoha.

Go figure.

I won't tell you how he was found by ANBU and taken to the Hokage's office.

I won't tell you how Sarutobi was shocked by the serious and thoughtful demeanor that had been hidden underneath his happy-go-lucky facade.

I won't tell you how Naruto revealed he had actually figured out about the Kyuubi (due to his birthday and the accusations of "Demon!" every other moment) and his parentage (since him and the Yondaime looked SO DAMN ALIKE!) all on his own.

I won't even tell you how he officially changed his name to "Naruto Kusakabe Namikaze Uzumaki."

Why not?

Because something more important is happening.

At the north gate, a figure walked through. Conveniently, it was at the exact moment that neither Chuunin put on guard duty was looking his way.

He was wearing a long black duster with no shirt. He was also wearing black jeans with black combat boots and (black) fingerless gloves to top it off. His had long, slightly spiky silver hair, with electric blue eyes and a cocky grin.

"Ah, Konoha." he said nostalgically. "It has been too long."

"Oh, you've been here before?" The woman gasped as he turned to look at her. The man was beautiful. Unnaturally so.

The man turned back to the Hokage monument. He didn't usually stop to talk with random passers by, but oh well. "Yes, but it looks much different than when I was here last." He gave a dark chuckle, and started walking. "But it was on fire then, so it's understandable."

The woman blinked, and in the time it took for her eyes to open, he was gone.


	4. Tenshin

**Disclaimer;** I do not own Naruto.

Chapter 4

Naruto walked out of the Hokage tower, sighing in relief. Thank god that was over! From the way the old man reacted, you'd think that randomly being adopted by a band of millennia-old pagan bounty-hunters was something unusual. Seriously! This was fanfiction they were talking about, _anything _could happen.

He stopped walking and adopted a thinking pose. "Am I forgetting something?"

"There he is!" Turning his head to the side Naruto wasn't all that surprised to see the same angry mob that had driven him into the forest of death in the first place. "Get him!"

_Oh crap!_

XXX

_When someone as gorgeous as me, _thought the man, tiredly running a hand through his shoulder-length hair. _Walks into a place like this, it's bound to attract attention. _Leaving his money on the counter for the swooning waitress, the tall man walked out of the Ichiraku Ramen bar and gave a world weary sigh, wondering if there was anyone in this pathetic village who wouldn't throw themselves at him on sight.

It was at that point that an orange streak of destiny collided with his torso, proving that it is indeed irony, not fate, that governs our lives.

Naruto felt someone grab him by the back of his neck and lift him into the air, as the man he ran into slowly stood up. Two sets of blue eyes looked at each other, but before either could say anything, the still-angry mob stampeded into the street.

The strange man tensed.

"SHIT! THEY'RE ONTO ME!"

XXX

Kakashi was bored.

While he read his book in the outdoor café, he was bored.

When Asuma and Kurenai sat at the table and began to politely chat with him, he was bored.

When Gai smashed through a window and began to issue challenges in an ear-shattering shout, he was bored.

When an infuriatingly handsome man ran past the café with the Kyuubi Jinchuriki under his arm and an angry mob on his heels, he was bored.

...

...wait, what?

XXX

The world finally came to a stop as the freak from outside Ichiraku's flung him to the ground, sending him tumbling tits over toenails before crashing hard into a tree. Dazed, Naruto rose to his feet.

"Don't worry kid!" the lunatic shouted boldly. "I'll protect you!" To the astonishment of the gathered crowd, a glowing blue pentacle began to float in the air by his shoulder, a gold sword hilt protruding from the center. As he grabbed ahold of it and pulled the whole thing out, it was revealed to be a berserker-sized steel-grey viking-style broadsword, complete with glowing blue runes along it's length.

"Allow me to introduce you," he hissed sadistically. "To Blutsauger."

He raised the sword over his head, fully intending to slaughter the pack of semi-innocent villagers before him. Before he could, however, two swords blocked his weapon's progress down, halting him in his path.

The swords were held by two ANBU, one female with long, purple hair, the other male, and coughing every now and again. "Cease (cough) and desist!" said the dude.

As Naruto watched in horror, the maniac leaned forward and bit – with chillingly long canines – into the man's shoulder. As he started to scream, the crazy guy leaned backwards, flicked his neck and tossed the poor guy about a meter in the air. The woman, evidently pissed, let out a shriek of rage before disappearing in a swirl of leaves. Three puffs of smoke appeared around him, revealing three identical clones of the female ANBU, which managed to illicit a raised eyebrow from the man.

"Mikatsuki no Mai!" they shouted, before running at him as one. The stranger simply chuckled, raised his hand and easily caught the katana of the real ANBU, who had attempted to attack him from above. The clones, for their part, were easily dispelled with a single horizontal sword swipe. Naruto raised his eyes from the destroyed copies, only to see the original thrashing in pain, probably from the enormous amount of electricity currently being channeled through her sword. The man let her fall to the ground, turned back to the villagers...

...and quirked an eyebrow at the three jonin standing in his way. He grinned. "Trying to sneak up on me were you?"

"Well," chuckled Kakashi, uncovering his Sharingan even as Asuma drew his trench knives on one side and Gai removed his weights on the other. "It would be more accurate to say you just didn't notice us until know."

"I wasn't talking to you."

Turning in the opposite direction, the stranger pointed the index and middle fingers of his left hand at the hidden Kurenai. She was busy weaving a multi-layered genjutsu over the perceived Jinchuriki-napper (which obviously hadn't worked) and so was completely unprepared for the invisible force that impacted with her torso and sent her flying backwards, bloodied and unconscious, into the foliage.

Asuma gave a bellow of rage and jumped forwards, his knives sheathed in wind chakra. The Blutsauger was brought up in a block, and only Kakashi, with his ever present Sharingan, understood what happened next. As the knives hit the sword the metal of the blade let off an odd pulse, ripping the wind chakra from Asuma's knives and sending it scything into his chest. All everyone else saw was Asuma get blown back, several impressive gashes in his chest that definitely weren't there before.

With a jolt, the man realized that he had been flanked in his distraction, Gai on his right side and Kakashi on his left. As his right arm was still outstretched, he had to stick his left hand underneath to point at Gai, who was promptly bound hand and foot by the golden chains that erupted from his fingers. As soon as the youthful jonin was dealt with, the same hand that bound him was brought round to block Kakashi's kunai. As he brought it round, a small disc of light began to float over the back of his wrist, sending the cyclopean jonin flying backwards as soon as the kunai hit it. Kakashi felt his head crack against something solid, and he knew no more.

Having systematically destroyed six of the best ninja Konoha had to offer, the odd man tossed a look at the gathered crowd (who began to haul ass screaming in the opposite direction) before strolling up to the shell shocked Naruto, sword cocked nonchalantly over his shoulder, and said,

"You okay kid?"

And that was when an old man clad in black spandex slammed feet first into the side of his head.

Of course.

"Hiruzen Sarutobi, I presume?" he drawled, picking himself up from the enormous trench his body had wrought in the ground, idly twirling the sword that had yet to leave his hand during the fight. Something smashed into the ground next to the enraged Hokage, and was revealed to be a middle-aged dude with spiky white hair. "And Jiraiya of the Sannin too!" he mock gasped, clutching one hand to his chest in feigned emotion. "I feel so special!"

"Kuchiyose no Jutsu!" shouted the two old men, and were suddenly accompanied by an armor clad monkey and two very, very old toads.

"Henge: Kongonyoi!"

"Sage Mode!"

The Jinchuriki-napper ignored them completely, instead turning to the slack-jawed blonde bystander. "You know, you should probably get out the way. I sense that they are... pissed." As the terrified prepubescent scuttled away, the strange man turned back to the old men, just in time to catch a spiraling ball of nature chakra on his sword.

"Senjutsu: Rasengan!" screamed Jiraiya, eager to kill the bastard who dared threaten his godson.

Said bastard casually kicked him in the nuts, and turned to his teacher. "In case you were wondering, my Blutsauger has the power to repel any and all chakra it comes into contact with. Which means," Here he pointed at the Hokage dramatically. "Your child prostitution days are over!"

Sarutobi actually dropped his staff in shock. "Excuse me!"

"You heard me!" the lunatic shouted righteously. "Why else would mobs of thugs hunt down children in the street. IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE!"

Sarutobi stared at him for a moment, before covering his eyes with his hand.

"I think we've had a bit of a misunderstanding.."

_A few hours later..._

Naruto stumbled down the street swearing, brushing dust from his jacket and generally disgusted with the anticlimactic finale to the battle he had just witnessed. Standing on a roof nearby were three figures, observing him thoughtfully. Two of them were the Black Knights, Superbia and Avaritia, while the third was the same man who, not long ago, had been beating up Konoha's finest.

"So this is the brat you've adopted, huh?"

"Yes, he is quite... interesting."

"Avaritia, you perverted sunnuva..."

"Why do you have to turn everything I say into an innuendo?"

"Because, you robbed me of the girl of my dreams."

"For the last time, I am not a girl, I am a WOMAN!"

"Feh. Whatever." He looked over at the cursing blonde. "I think I'll go talk to him now."

"NO!" A brief scuffle and two bruised Black Knights later, and Naruto suddenly found the same maniac he had been swearing about was standing right next to him.

"And you are?"

"Is that any way to talk to the man who saved your life?"

"If anything, you put it at risk! And besides, the ANBU would have dealt with them if they'd gotten violent."

"You speak from experience." the man noted, and Naruto went quiet. They walked in silence for a while, until the man spoke up once more. "Say kid, if I were to offer you ultimate power right now, would you say yes or no?"

Naruto's head whipped around so hard it cracked. "What?"

"Just answer the question."

The blonde looked at the silver head for a long moment before shrugging his shoulders. "Depends, would there be a price?"

"Of course, all power comes at a price."

"You speak from experience."

"Touché."

"Why are you offering me this?"

"Partly because during that hellish sprint from that angry mob I felt a deep and abiding connection with you, and partly because your mom seriously turns me on."

"I'll ignore that last comment in favor of asking you what the price is."

The man stopped walking to think about it. "How about... your right eye, your left arm, both legs, your voice and... your soul."

Naruto looked at him. "And the Hokage hasn't run you out of the village why?"

"I threatened a repeat of the Kyuubi attack if he tried. Hey, don't walk away from me!"

XXX

"Tch, what an asshole." Naruto muttered. He stopped at the outskirts of the village and leaned back, rested his head against the wall and closed his eyes. After about an hour in full semi-doze mode, he was disturbed by the sounds of children his own age. He opened his eyes.

In an open patch of grass beyond the buildings, a group of young boys were surrounding a girl (also his own age) their intent obviously hostile, with short, bluish hair, and two long strands coming down to frame her face. Even from where he was standing he noticed her peculiar eye color, with irises so pale they blended with the whites around them and no pupils to speak of.

Out of the corner of his eye, Naruto spotted a short red-headed boy, again his own age, watching the blatant display of bullying from the cover of trees. After a few moments of watching, he turned and vanished into the undergrowth.

Naruto gritted his teeth. More than anything else, he hated those who stood back and watched while those in need suffered. He jumped into the fray.

It should be noted at this point that Naruto had no prior combat training whatsoever. He was also malnourished, outnumbered, exhausted and didn't want to use the red chakra for fear of killing the little bastards. As such, he had the stuffing beaten out of him.

Having grown bored with kicking his unmoving body the boys ran off in search of the Hyuuga child, who had escaped in the confusion. He lay on the ground as his body healed, cursing his weakness. After a while he painfully rolled over onto his back and began to stare blankly at the sky. The sounds of slow clapping came to his ears. Turning his head, he was treated to the sight of the silver-haired maniac sitting on a low stone fence, bathing him in sarcastic applause. "I give you points for bravery midget."

"Why the hell are you here?" The man chuckled, got to his feet and stood right next to him, so he was staring directly down at him.

"I'm here to second my offer." he said mildly. "Do you accept?"

Naruto sighed resignedly. "Yeah, all right then."

The man clapped his hands suddenly, looking inordinately pleased. "Splendid!" he exclaimed happily. "I'll start with the right eye." He squatted down on his knees and reached for Naruto's face.

"Wait." The hand was pulled back. "Two questions first."

"Fire away."

"What's your name?"

"...Tenshin." said the man after a moments consideration. The ghost of a smile played across his face. "Just Tenshin. And your second question?"

"Yeah... is this gunna hurt?"

The hand reached out once again. "Like a motherfucker."

Konoha was filled with the sounds of screams.

The next time Naruto Uzumaki would be seen in public would be in eight years time.

**Tenshin is mine, Blutsauger is from Shakugan no Shana and Tenshin's jutsus are from Bleach.**


	5. Team Seven

**Disclaimer: **I do not not own Naruto.

**A/N: There is time-skip from the last chapter. Everyone other than Naruto will wear their Shippuden clothes.**

Chapter 5

Sasuke sat in the stuffy classroom, his eyebrow twitching in annoyance. The last few days had not been kind to him, not one bit. To start with, his Genin exam had been rigged, and he had actually believed that _bastard _Mizuki when he had told him about the supposed 'make up exam'. Infiltrating the Hokage tower to steal the Forbidden Scroll had taken all his skill and ingenuity, to the point where he hadn't gotten the chance to learn a single Jutsu before Iruka had turned up, only to get the crap beaten out of him by Mizuki. One Gokakyu no Jutsu later and Sasuke had made his first kill, having nailed Mizuki solidly in the back.

What enraged Sasuke the most about the situation was that, rather than commend him for his skills as a ninja, Iruka had argued that Sasuke had killed without any sign of emotion at all, and as such should be scanned by the Yamanaka Clan in case he ever pulled an Itachi. The council, however, had insisted he be given his headband.

All this he could have dealt with, if it weren't for the fact that he had been put on a two-man cell with _Sakura _of all people. _Kiba _would have been better than her.

Which just goes to show. Just when you think life's a bitch, she has puppies.

So that was why he had been stuck in this room with a pink-headed schizophrenic she-man monkey-whore who looked as though she may jump his bones at any moment, and been waiting for his tardy sensei for the past THREE FRIGGIN HOURS!

The door opened, and a head of gravity-defying silver hair was poked through. "Hello, I'm here for my tea-" the man quickly slammed the door shut, narrowly avoiding the twenty or so kunai that impacted harmlessly into the other side of the door. After a few moments to make sure the coast was clear, Kakashi opened the door to get a good look at the Genin hopefuls.

One (the Uchiha) was glaring at him furiously from across the room, while the other (a professional fangirl) was staring at the aforementioned Uchiha with a look of slack-jawed adoration, obviously unable to believe her luck. It was quite possibly the most unimpressive sight he could have imagined.

"My name is Hatake Kakashi... and you're both my bitches."

XXX

_Three days later..._

Sasuke trudged dejectedly to his team meeting. Apparently, everyone else in his class had gotten a hands-on Genin exam from their Jonin sensei to test their true abilities. Not him. Kakashi had openly told them that the council wanted him to pass them no matter how they did on the test, so he had decided to bypass the final exam altogether and make them official Genin of Konoha.

Goody.

To Sasuke, it was as if no-one in the world actually expected him to pass the test (which they didn't) a thought that severely stung his Uchiha pride. What was worse was that Kakashi had yet to actually teach them anything, instead taking them on pointless D-ranks to paint fences, pull weeds, walk dogs and catch that damn cat over and over and over again. Somehow, he had imagined ninja life to be much more exciting.

As he approached the meeting place, set on one of the many bridges of Konoha, Sasuke ignored Sakura utterly and instead propped himself against the railing. Two hours later and Kakashi arrived, and said the five words which Sasuke would always think of as the highlight of his ninja career.

"Ever been to Ichiraku Ramen?" said Kakashi cheerily, giving them one of his curious little eye-smiles.

XXX

Sasuke was in love. Their was no other way to describe it. The girl before him was smoking hot, she smelt delicious (Ramen was awesome) and best of all, she had no apparent interest in him whatsoever. Seriously, what more could he want from a woman.

"Ahem." Sasuke reluctantly dragged his eyes away from Ayame's breasts to meet the gaze of the amused Cyclopean Jonin. "The reason why I brought you here," he chuckled, watching as his student's gaze drifted irresistibly back to the buxom bar girl. "Is because there's someone I want you to meet."

"Really," murmured Sasuke absently, his eyes following the motions as Ayame sensually (in his eyes) dumped ramen into a bowl. "And who might that be?"

A voice drifted over his shoulder.

"That would be us."

And that was how Sasuke met them.

The one who had spoken looked about eighteen years old, and was tall and lean. He was wearing black pants and black combat boots, along with an unbuttoned black trench coat that showed off his muscular chest. His hair was shoulder length and slightly spiky, and his eyes were a startling electric blue. The man emanated an unnatural beauty, and Sasuke was incensed to see Ayame giving him the same adoring look that Sasuke was receiving from Sakura at that very moment.

On the man's other side was a girl, who gave off the same beauty as the man. Whereas his beauty was strange and otherworldly, hers was natural and organic; a shining jewel of purity if there ever was one. Her hair was white, reaching down just past her hips, and she was wearing a long, medieval-western style white dress that would have grazed the floor if she weren't sitting on the stool. Her incredible, blue-green eyes regarded Sasuke with a certain sarcastic amusement that irrationally made him feel as though she knew everything about him, and considered it one big joke.

But it was the last individual who really stood out.

He was roughly the same height as the first man, and just as well built. Also like him, he was wearing a long black trench coat, only his was decorated down the sleeves with ornate patterns of red. He was was wearing weathered tan pants done up with a dark brown belt, and was also wearing what appeared to be enormous dark-blue steel boots that extended up under his trousers. On his right hand was a ring with an extremely elaborate symbol on it, a symbol which Sasuke would later discover belonged to the Kusakabe Clan. His left hand, however, looked as though someone hand slowly peeled the skin off it, leaving only bare red muscle behind. Each finger was tipped with a wicked looking black claw, and a green cross-shaped crystal was embedded in the back. On his head he wore a black cowboy hat, shadowing a shock of sunshine blond hair. Sasuke was unable to see his face properly, as the eye on the side that was facing him was covered by a large black eye patch.

The silver-haired man, who was the one to speak first, got up into Sasuke's face and grinned.

"So, you're the Cyclops' bitches huh?" he snickered, earning a glare off all three members of Team Seven.

"Students," sighed Kakashi. "These are a few people I know. The bastard next to Sasuke is called Tenshin, the girl is Lisette and the dude still eating his ramen is Naruto." The two former gave small noises of affirmation. Naruto ignored them completely. "I have a special reason for introducing you. You see-"

"Tenshin!" The group turned to see a stunningly beautiful woman with long purple hair and kitted out in full ANBU gear skipping towards them, beaming sunnily.

"Ah, Yuugao!" greeted Tenshin affably. "How's Hayate?"

"Oh, he's great. And you?"

Team Seven watched in annoyance as Tenshin blew them off entirely in order to chat with his friend. Naruto and Lisette, for their part, just kept eating.

"You seemed friendly." noted Sasuke, Yuugao having finally left.

Tenshin shrugged in a 'what can you do' sort of way. "I bit her boyfriend in the neck a while back, and he's been a sex machine ever since." Sasuke and Sakura stared at him in horror, while Kakashi palmed his face.

"You _bit _him?"

"He was chronically ill and I cured him. Yuugao was certainly grateful."

"Yes, but why bite him in the _neck_."

"Because he, along with Yuugao, your sensei and three other jonin tried to kill me."

"WHAT!"

"Don't worry. I won." Sasuke shot a look at his sensei, who looked extremely annoyed.

"Did you make it _painful_?" he hissed vindictively.

"Alright!" shouted Kakashi, ignoring Sasuke's disappointed look. "The truth is, I need a favor from you guys."

"Oh?" smiled Tenshin, playfully cocking his head to one side. "Like what?"

"Not from you." ground out Kakashi, shooting him a look filled with as much loathing as a single eye could allow. "From him."

Everyone turned to look at Naruto. He continued to ignore them and kept eating his ramen. "He says he's listening." Lisette piped up. While Sasuke and Sakura wondered why he didn't just speak for himself, Kakashi accepted it without question.

"As you know," he began. "Sasuke here is the last Uchiha. As such, the council is pressuring me to enter him into the next Chuunin Exam, which I can't do, as a three-man team is required. I would like you to join Team Seven." The Genin gaped, while Naruto kept eating. "I am aware of course of the... 'bond' between you and Lisette, and am happy to allow her on board. You would be considered a single unit, like an Inuzuka and their dog or an Aburame and their hi-" He was abruptly cut off, as Naruto snapped the chopsticks in his hand and brought his fist smashing onto the table, rupturing the wood and causing the ground itself to shake for a few seconds. Tenshin looked proud, Lisette looked pleased and everyone else looked scared shitless. "Ofcourseshe'sdefinitelynotapet." babbled Kakashi, sighing with relief as Naruto unclenched his fist. "But you get my meaning. You don't have to come on any D-ranks, but we get our first C-rank tomorrow and..."

He trailed of uncomfortably, and the bar fell silent. After several long moments, Naruto turned and faced Team Seven for the first time in the entire conversation. Directly behind Sasuke, Sakura bit back a gasp and turned beet-red. Unlike the unimaginable beauty of his companions, Naruto was ruggedly handsome, even with the eye patch. His one visible eye was an expressive cerulean blue, and was the most captivating thing she had ever seen. She was completely devoted to Sasuke, but still... damn.

Noticing her reaction, Lisette's eyes narrowed with dislike. "He says," she muttered rebelliously. "He'll do it." In perfect unison, she and Naruto rose from the bar and set off down the road, their steps perfectly in tune despite the fact that Naruto stood head, shoulders and elbows above his companion. Tenshin watched them go, a slightly more subdued smile across his lips.

"Be good to him," he murmured. "He's been my student for eight years now. I'll be pissed if anything happens to him." Kakashi nodded, and the four remaining people sat in silence for a while longer, until Tenshin said, "In case you were wondering, Naruto can't talk."

Sasuke looked at him in surprise. "Really? Why?"

Tenshin gave that annoying shrug of his once more. "He traded it for a set of robotic legs."

"A set of-"

Sasuke was interrupted as Tenshin got up into his face once more, and said the words that would ultimately lead to his messy yet oddly fitting demise.

"Let's make a bet. You manage to get Naruto's eye patch off by the end of that C-rank of yours, and I'll teach you a Jutsu that'll kill Itachi in one hit, guaranteed."

**I have decided to remove the playboy aspect of Naruto's personality, as it doesn't fit with how his character is developing. Also, you should know that Naruto's new outfit is based on Mihawk from One Piece. In case you were wondering.**


	6. His Eye

**Disclaimer: **I do not not own Naruto.

Chapter 6

Sasuke sat on his bed, staring at the wall opposite. Plastered all over this wall were various formulated, haphazard, copyrighted, shameless or downright stupid plans of action to steal his new blonde teammate's eye-patch. He had very little confidence in any of them, as someone personally trained by Tenshin (who he had learned had not only actually taken down six of Konoha's finest in one go, but also taken down one of the legendary Sannin in one blow immediately afterwards) would undeniably be extraordinarily difficult to outmaneuver.

He hadn't the faintest clue how he took Jiraiya down though.

To his surprise, Sasuke found he could vaguely remember Naruto being in his class eight years or so prior. The Naruto of the time was a great deal different than he was now, and possessed absolutely no noteworthy traits other than his outrageous signature orange jumpsuit. He had done some minor background research, and discovered the boy had only been in his class because he had been bumped down two years, for reasons such as large-scale pranks, flunked tests and utterly abysmal chakra control. Since this also meant he was currently two years older than himself, Sasuke would peg his current age at around sixteen years old.

And that was another thing. Tenshin, Naruto's supposed sensei for the last eight years, was to all appearances exactly the same age as Naruto himself. Logically, that would mean Naruto had been taken into apprenticeship by a child, which implied that Tenshin was some sort of Itachi-esque prodigy who's existence had been kept from the general public. But then, crack conspiracy theories had never been Sasuke's forte.

There was also the chance that Tenshin was immortal, but that was just being unrealistic.

Wasn't it?

At any rate, it seemed that, around the time Tenshin had taken the boy under his wing, Naruto had been adopted by the Kusakabe Clan, whose location within Konoha wasn't available to the general public. There were approximately zero records of the clan other than that, and there were no known members other than Naruto himself. After inputting the name on Google, Sasuke discovered that the Kusakabes were actually a reclusive family of nomadic onmyouji, that had apparently specialized in a unique form of dual-wielding kenjutsu, one only a single non-family member had ever been permitted to learn. Incidentally, the person's name was Tobirama Senju.

Which meant Naruto was likely a kenjutsu specialist. Strange, seeing as Sasuke hadn't noticed a single sword on his person during their meeting at Ichiraku Ramen.

Apparently, the clan was famous for the Seven Kusakabe Treasures, seven swords blessed with incredible powers, each unique and deadly in it's own right. The collection had started with a single black katana, able to grant the wielder with incredible, unsurpassed speed. After a long period of trial and error, the method with which it had been forged was discovered, resulting in five new swords, each possessing the power of one of the five shinobi elements in it's blade. These swords were so powerful that the then leader of clan, one Misao Kusakabe, had forbidden the creation of any more. She had, however, allowed one more sword to be forged. It's power was unknown, though apparently it was both the most powerful of the swords and the one with the bloodiest history. Each owner had apparently died immediately after using it for the first time, giving it the name 'the life-drinking sword'. Attempts had been made to replicate the swords, and while the results were certainly impressive (textbook examples being the swords of the Nidaime and the Seven Ninja Swordsmen of the Mist) they were never quite of the same caliber.

Intriguingly, Sasuke had discovered that one such sword had been passed down to his sensei by his father, the White Fang, Sakumo Hatake, and had been shattered to pieces on his first mission. He wondered idly if the shards were still in Kakashi's possession.

It was strange that any Kusakabes would be in Konoha, however, due to the fact that they had all dispersed into the mists of Water Country not long after the founding of Konoha. Long before the Nidaime had even started his training with the clan Misao had been exiled from the clan on charges of witchcraft, which Sasuke strongly suspected was just some story fabricated by jealous political rivals. The clan relics had then been renamed the Five Kusakabe Treasures as, during the ensuing bloodbath of her departure, Misao had managed to steal the Kusakabe Treasures of wind and water, something that disheartened the clan enough that they went from a clan to more of a secret order, centered, as was previously mentioned, in Water Country.

If Sasuke's theory was correct, and Naruto had been adopted by a descendant of Misao Kusakabe, that meant it was highly likely that he kept the two missing treasures stashed somewhere on his person, with storage seals and such. That said, it was safe to say that Naruto specialized in Fuuton and Suiton Jutsu, making it fairly simple for him to take down an inexperienced Katon user like Sasuke. Interestingly, this also meant that the infamous life-drinker was probably stashed away in Water, though if Tenshin was true to his word, he wouldn't need it.

And then there was the girl, Lisette. There were no records on her, none whatsoever, other than that she was always, _always _around Naruto, and that the first time she had appeared in the village, Naruto had almost killed a man who had the bright idea of trying to hit on her. And then there was this odd bond that Kakashi had mentioned...

Ah yes, Kakashi. He just kept popping up didn't he. Most obviously because of his habit of keeping his left eye covered, much the same as Naruto did with his right. With a little digging, Sasuke discovered that Kakashi actually had a stolen Sharingan, taken from his team-mate Obito Uchiha after his death. This would have lead Sasuke to believe that Naruto also had a Sharingan, or possibly even a Byakugan hidden under his eye patch, except that something instinctual told him otherwise.

Sasuke looked a the clock, then rose and grabbed his backpack. He was off to Wave.

Sasuke arrived exactly when he had been told to arrive, which meant that Kakashi would be hours before arriving yet. Naruto was standing with his back to a tree, his one visible eye closed as if asleep. Lisette was sitting on the ground, her back propped against his legs and with a chronically bored look on her face. Sakura was standing off to the side, shooting the occasional nervous glance at the two newcomers.

True to his word Kakashi had gotten them a C-rank the very next day, to escort some bridge builder to Wave. Said bridge builder was standing next to Sakura, drinking heavily despite how early it was in the morning and sweating up a storm while he was at it. The man's name was Tazuna, and he was old, ugly, drunk (as was previously mentioned) and wearing a stupid looking straw hat.

"How long is Hatake going to be?" The person who said this was Lisette, who looking at him with a heavy-lidded gaze. Usually it would have turned him on, but now he was saving himself for Ayame. Oh well.

"He'll be hours yet. Kakashi-sensei is always late." As Sasuke finished speaking, Naruto opened his eye and stood up straight, immediately drawing the attention of everyone present. Reaching into his coat, he pulled out a small box of matches, took one out and struck it. The match lit, he carefully placed the box back where it came from and reached into his coat once more, pulling out...

Kakashi's orange book. They watched, in awe, as Naruto calmly set the cursed thing alight, blew out his match, and let it drop.

As if in slow motion, they watched the flaming erotic literature as it fell majestically through the air. Just before it reached the ground, Kakashi jumped out of nowhere, skidding along the ground on his stomach to catch the book mere moments before it hit the ground. Frantically, he began launching a devastating array of Suiton in the hopes of dousing the fire, but only succeeded in utterly destroying both the book and anything in it's immediate vicinity. Finally, Kakashi gave up, only then realizing that the love of his life had been murdered by his own hands.

He looked at Naruto. "WHY?"

Without a word, Naruto walked out of the village.

XXX

Sasuke watched Naruto out the corner of his eye. Since the trip had started, Sakura had made a few small, pathetic attempts at conversation with the two newcomers, but no matter who she directed the question to it was always Lisette who answered. She was his voice, and any opinions or answers Naruto needed expressed were channeled directly through her. It was as though there was some sort of hidden method of communication kept between them and no-one else. To Sasuke, this seemed like a strangely intimate thing. It required a great deal of trust on Naruto's part to entrust Lisette with his voice, as what she said in his name would leave an impression on people that reflected directly on him. In the world of ninja such trust was often abused, and yet she rewarded that trust by relaying what he wanted her to say in exactly the way he wanted her to say it. Sasuke wished he had someone like that. Like, say, Ayame.

But that was, for the moment, irrelevant. Right now, he had a mission. They were in a diamond formation, with Naruto walking in front of Tazuna, Lisette to his left, Sasuke to his right and Sakura to the rear. Kakashi was walking a bit ahead of them, nose in his book as always. Deciding to go with the simplest of his plans, Sasuke took a tiny pinch of lint out of the bottom of his pocket. It probably wouldn't work, but hey, it was worth a shot.

One perfect, soundless, smokeless, sealless Kawarimi later, and an extremely surprised Sasuke had won his bet in record time.

Naruto knew about the stupid bet, of course. Kakashi had mentioned it in the letter containing details on the C-rank. Over the eight years it had been in his possession, he had ceased to notice the eye patch's presence on his face, and even when he took it off, he still felt its phantom on his forehead. Add to that the fact that the eye it covered lacked any form of sight whatsoever, and it's understandable that he almost didn't notice it was gone. As it was, the lint that Sasuke had replaced it with was blown straight into Naruto's wide open eye.

Now, it should be noted at this point that Naruto had absolutely no feeling in this eye at all. However, when something touches your eye, your brain registers it as unnatural. When Naruto's brain in particular registered anything unnatural, his unique doujutsu automatically activated.

All vision in his left eye ceased, while his right whirred into life. To Naruto's warped vision, it was like he was falling down a long, winding tunnel of golden cloud, extending onward until-

_Kakashi strolled over a puddle, giggling perversely at whatever it was he was reading. Suddenly, two men with slashed Kiri headbands and clawed gauntlets connected by a chain jumped out of the genjutsu spawned puddle, wrapped their chain around him and pulled, reducing the Copy-Nin to bloody tatters scattered all over the-_

Naruto's vision snapped back into focus, reverting once more to the eternal trudge to Wave. He jumped forward just as Kakashi stepped over the puddle, intercepting the missing-nin on the left just before they began their dual maneuver. Grabbing the man's gauntlet in his red left hand, Naruto hurled him like a javelin into a nearby tree, his gauntlet sticking into the bark and his body smashing mercilessly into the trunk, knocking him smoothly out cold. The other brother was sent flying as well, thanks to the chain strapped to his wrist. As his sibling struck the tree he was sent sailing straight past it, managing several meters before the chain snapped taut and brought him painfully to the ground. He was the unlucky one, as his unconscious brother didn't have to deal with a forcefully dislocated shoulder. Ignoring the poor man's screams, Naruto turned back to his shocked companions.

He was often profoundly grateful for the fact that his right eye wasn't nearly as creepy as most other doujutsu. Such was the case here, as only Kakashi, and perhaps Sasuke understood anything abnormal had happened. His right eye was no different than his left, except for being golden amber rather than cerulean blue, and he couldn't see out of it.

There was also the small issue of it allowing him to see into the future.

"_Yeah... is this gunna hurt?"_

_The hand reached out once again. "Like a motherfucker."_

_Tenshin's right index finger stopped just before touching Naruto's right eye. He found himself unable to close his eyes as pain like nothing he had ever felt before exploded through the front of his brain. He could actually __**feel **__his eye bubbling in it's socket, and dared not turn his head for fear it would spill onto the ground._

_And then it was over. Grinning, Tenshin pulled a small mirror out of his pocket and showed Naruto his new doujutsu for the first time. "This, my small orange friend, is the Eye of Aeon. It can only be possessed by one person in the world at a time, and will give you glimpses into the future. When it's current bearer dies a thousand years must pass before a new host is chosen. But enough of that."_

_Tenshin put the mirror away and began to rifle through his pockets._

"_Now for your left arm."_

Naruto shook the memories off, walked up to Sasuke and grabbed his eye patch. He gave Lisette a meaningful look before putting it back on. "This is no C-rank," he thought at her. "Tell Kakashi I just foresaw the Demon Brothers admitting to targeting the bridge-builder."

Lisette's eyes widened by the smallest fraction. "Do you think he'll cancel the mission?"

"No, our presence will make him overconfident. The mission proceeds."

"Yeah, hopefully we won't meet anyone you want to kill too much."

XXX

"I am Zabuza Momochi, Demon of the Mist." said the shirtless dude. He was standing on an enormous sword embedded in a tree that had very nearly decapitated the entire group a few moments earlier. "Hand over the bridge builder or die!"

"That sword... that's the Kubikiribocho... that bastard's copying Mom's swords!"

Lisette sighed and palmed her face. This couldn't end well.

**The Kusakabe swords and the Eye of Aeon come from 11eyes, but only the life-drinker, lightening and fire sword abilities were shown in 11eyes canon. Therefore, the abilities of any other swords should be considered fan-made.**


	7. His Arm

**Disclaimer: **I do not not own Naruto.

Chapter 7

Zabuza eyed the six people in front of him with a look of pronounced displeasure, but of course they couldn't tell this due to the bandages covering the lower half of his face. In theory the old drunk had only taken enough money to Konoha worthy of a C-rank, which by definition was worthy of either a Genin team or a couple of low-ranked Chuunin.

Indeed, a Genin team was what he had left with. That was fine.

Their Jonin sensei was the famed Copy-Nin. That was fine too.

No, what really made Zabuza feel as though Gato wasn't paying him enough was The Gold and The Silver, who were staring up at him, or rather the Kubikiribocho, with pure, unadulterated hatred.

The two had earned the nickname a while back, after the utter butchery of Raiga Kurosuki and his pack of bandits. Apparently, they had destroyed his famous swords at the very site of death, claiming they were but cheap imitations of the real thing. This meant they were likely from the Kusakabe Clan, and Zabuza assumed he would have been safe from such people provided he stayed the hell away from Water Country.

That obviously hadn't worked.

Kakashi observed the grim looks being exchanged by his new team-mates and the Demon of the Hidden Mist. He had heard, as all the noteworthy Konoha ninjas had, about their long standing grudge against the Kusakabe replicas, especially after what happened during their encounters with Raiga Kurosuki and Aoi Rokusho.

It seemed that, prior to beginning her legendary partnership with Naruto, Lisette had been cooped up somewhere obscure for a very long time. This had led her to be very enthusiastic about trying out all the little things the world had to offer. One of those new things happened to be the infamous 'Curry of Life'. Upon learning of the legendary dish from Gai, Lisette had asked Naruto to take her to try some. No sooner had the words left her mouth than Naruto was preparing a road trip, just for her.

Sometimes, Kakashi really _envied_ their devotion to one another.

At any rate, the story went that the owners of the restaurant where the Curry was made had informed the two that Raiga was nearby, though what he was doing exactly Kakashi couldn't be bothered to remember. During the night, the pair had stolen from their sleeping quarters and utterly massacred his bandit group, slaughtering him and destroying his swords. The only survivor had been a young boy by the name of Ranmaru, who the duo a spared due to being a child. He had been left at the restaurant, and every visitor from then on had been regaled with tales of the tall young man with the eye patch and the short young girl with the white dress.

Aoi Rokusho, on the other hand, had been a total accident. They had simply stumbled across him as he escaped with the Nidaime's sword, and had methodically butchered him from there. While pieces of Rokusho were still being discovered to this day, they had, somewhat surprisingly, left the sword intact as a favor to the Sandaime, though on the condition that it never leave the vault again. If it did leave the vault, they had promised, it would be destroyed anyway, grandfatherly figure or no.

But none of this mattered, because they were about to go apeshit on this loser's ass and Kakashi had to make sure he and the rest of the team weren't killed in the crossfire.

Bullshit, I know.

Naruto began to move forwards, interrupting Kakashi's thoughts on Zabuza's imminent demise. Everyone present was silent as Naruto walked forward, stopping once he was halfway between his own group and the missing-nin. Slowly, he stretched his left arm out to the side, and the eyes of all were drawn to the odd, cross-shaped green crystal on the back of his hand as it dimly twinkled in what little light the fog allowed through.

Then the stone ignited with blinding green light, and Naruto was obscured from view.

_Tenshin put the mirror away and began to rifle through his pockets._

"_Now for your left arm."_

_Withdrawing his hand from his pockets, Tenshin pulled out a beautiful, glowing green crystal cut into the shape of a cross. Taking Naruto's left hand in his own, Tenshin pressed it into the back of his hand, immediately causing the child to begin screaming all over again._

_As the stone touched his flesh, the skin around it began to smoke and peel away, leaving only scarlet muscle behind. As it reached the tips of his fingers, the nails began to blacken and twist into ebony talons, even as the degradation of his body's largest organ continued up to his shoulder. Finally the unbelievable pain ended, and Naruto forced himself to stop screaming._

"_That," said Tenshin chirpily. "Was a substance known as Innocence, used in ages past to fight the enemies of God. The more you synchronize with it, the more powerful it will become. However, like the Eye of Aeon, it has a downside. Should you ever forsake God, and the path of good, you will become a Fallen One, and be lost forever."_

_Naruto just stared at him blankly, his brain numbed by agony. Dimly, he remembered that he was an atheist._

"_I'll teach you how to use it later," said Tenshin, in that same annoyingly cheerful voice. He began to roll up his sleeves. "But now, your legs."_

Naruto opened his single visible eye, shaking the memories from his skull.

His left arm was now longer than his body, and the skin (or what passed for skin) was replaced with peculiar white armor, strongly resembling some form of chitin. The arm was of normal width near his shoulder, but steadily widened until it reached his hand, at which point it became an enormous claw, seeming fully capable of crushing someone's head between it's talons. On the back of the immense, adamantine claw was engraved a glowing green cross, mirroring the gem that had been there before, and a similar glow emanated from his scapula joint where the claw met his body.

All in all, it looked rather badass.

Without any further warning Naruto sprang at Zabuza, swinging his claw in viciously. Zabuza jumped to meet him, pulling his sword out of the tree as he went. Sword and talon clashed in mid-air, sparks flying as the two were forced past one-another by their own momentum. Zabuza hit the ground skidding, but Naruto landed on the tree feet first, allowing for an immediate push-off that sent the already gashed and abused tree crashing and groaning to the ground. Unsteady from his landing, it was all Zabuza could do to block as Naruto delivered a viscous sequence of blows against his sword, the hits coming far faster and far stronger than such an awkward appendage had any right to have. Desperately holding him off with one hand, Zabuza made a few one-handed seals with his free hand.

"Suiton; Daibakufu no Jutsu!" During the first, furious exchange they had ended up standing over the water, allowing for the immense blast of water that blasted the blonde backwards for several feet. As the waves cleared, Naruto was revealed standing with his claw bent in front of him as a sort of shield, an incredibly flexible feat that he somehow managed to make look completely natural. He also didn't seem to be actually water-walking, but rather hovering just above the lake, a small hollow in the water directly below his feet. It was as if a steady stream of _something _was being ejected out the bottom of his feet. As he moved the cumbersome limb into a battle-ready position, Zabuza decided to make some witty banter, which he felt the fight had been lacking thus far.

However, before he even got the chance he was rudely interrupted by a tanto to the back, courtesy of Kakashi. "It's over!" he managed to say, right before the swordsman dissolved into water. _Water Clone! But when did he-_

Abruptly, a sphere of water formed around Naruto, blocking him off from everyone else. "Suiro no Jutsu!" gloated Zabuza. "Now that the strongest of you is out of the way-" Kakashi's eye twitched at this. "-I can take the rest of you down one by one." Yet again, he began making a series of one-handed seals. "Kirigakure no Jutsu!" Kakashi cursed as an unnatural mist sprang seemingly from nowhere, the chakra-infused particles of water rendering his Sharingan near useless.

Lisette gave a long-suffering sigh as Zabuza began to rant about all the different ways he would kill them. Ira did the same thing. Why were all men so _childish._

Her thoughts flew to when she and Naruto first met, and how he had taken her dreams of freedom, crushed them into rubble and then granted them to her anew the very next day.

Well, maybe not all men.

She was broken out of her thoughts as Zabuza materialized out of nowhere, his zanbato swinging for Tazuna's head. With another sigh, Lisette casually pulled the blubbering man out the way, the sword embedding itself in the ground. Kakashi appeared in a similar fashion behind Zabuza's back and promptly slit his throat, revealing him to be another Water Clone. Another Zabuza popped up and crushed the Copy-Nin with his sword, revealing him to be a Water Clone as well, and Kakashi reappeared and stabbed him in the back of the head, revealing _him _to be a Water Clone too...

Lisette thought Naruto's fight was way more exciting.

When they weren't immediately attacked by another Water Clone, Lisette boredly snapped her fingers, the mist immediately dispersing as though an invisible shockwave had erupted from her body. As the fog cleared, a virtual army of Water Clones was revealed dotting the surface of the lake. The last thing they saw was her eyes turn completely green with slitted black pupils before she lazily swiped her arm at them. Gashes burning with green and black flames shredded their artificial bodies. As the clones dispersed, Lisette smirked up at the gob smacked missing-nin. "Are you going to bust your way out of their or not?"

Zabuza heard Naruto snort (one of the few noises he was still able to make) and looked down at his prisoner. Naruto had maneuvered his arm so the cross on the back of his claw was directly facing his captor. His eyes widened as it began to glow. "Oh shi-" The prison exploded with green energy, and the Demon of the Mist, badly burnt and barely able to lift his sword, had _just _managed to get away in time. As he regained his bearings, he caught sight of Kakashi and Naruto, side by side, walking across the surface of the lake towards him.

"Shall we go all out?" inquired Kakashi blandly, uncovering his Sharingan. Naruto grunted, obviously not caring either way, but removed his eye patch nonetheless.

He immediately found himself falling through a long golden tunnel, until-

_Senbon needles flew out of the trees and embedded in Zabuza's neck, rendering him smoothly senseless. The owner of the needles, a teen-aged hunter-nin, jumped down from the treeline. "Thank you for your assistance, I have been tracking this man for several days now. Excuse me while I dispose of the body."_

_And then he was gone._

"_Don't hunter-nin usually dispose of the body at the sight?"__ said Naruto, annoyed at the anticlimactic finale._

"_Obviously," said Lisette out loud. "That wasn't a hunter-nin."_

_Kakashi's eyes widened in realization, and his palm met his forehead. "Sunnuva-"_

Naruto blinked as the vision ended, and suddenly noticed the tell-tale signs of movement in the trees. Lunging forward, he grabbed Zabuza by the scruff and hurled him out the way, even as he deflected the incoming senbon with his claw. Following immediately after them, the young hunter-nin crashed into his claw with the force of a sledgehammer, managing to put an inordinate amount of force into the slim needles between his fingers. Not for the first time, Naruto was glad his claw was unbreakable.

As they broke off from one-another an odd mirror-like object made of ice appeared on the surface of the lake, into which the hunter-nin fell and disappeared. Naruto whipped around, only to watch as Zabuza was dragged safely into a mirror of his own.

At that moment Naruto missed his voice like nothing else, as he wanted nothing more than to have a good long swear.

"Naruto," blurted Kakashi. "Why the _hell _did you attack that hunter-nin?"

"Obviously," said Lisette out loud. "That wasn't a hunter-nin."

Kakashi's eyes widened in realization, and his palm met his forehead. "Sunnuva-"

**For the small percentage of you who don't know, Naruto's arm comes from the D Gray Man series.**


	8. His Legs

**Disclaimer: **I do not not own Naruto.

Chapter 8

Naruto watched Sasuke and Sakura struggle up and down the trees, wondering why Kakashi had decided to take them on the C-rank without at least bothering to teach them the basics. Technically, he wasn't actually a ninja, but even he knew that there were some things a nin had to learn early, to do anything else was to put them in unnecessary danger. As he puzzled this over, he had managed to come up with a theory.

Kakashi did not intend, in any way, for Sakura to make Chuunin. He would teach them the bare basics, but grudgingly and over an extended time period. Naruto and Lisette would be relied upon to get them through the first few rounds of the Chuunin Exams, then Kakashi would give Sasuke a crapload of training in the time interval before the final round. Sasuke would emerge dazzlingly as a Chuunin, Naruto and Lisette would return to their previous lives and Sakura would be booted from the program.

Naruto agreed wholeheartedly with Kakashi's decision. Some people just weren't cut out for the job.

He knew without looking that they were being spied on. Tazuna's emo grandson seemed oddly fascinated with him and Lisette, who lay blissfully on the ground with her head on his lap. Inari's interest likely stemmed from the fact that the pair had split off from the others as they approached the bridge-builder's house, meaning he had met them separately from the Genin team proper. Apparently, he had been doing an impassioned speech on how powerful Gato was and how no-one could stop him just before they walked through the door, large amounts of food, drink and money in their arms.

The pseudo-ninjas had done a thorough search of the immediate village in search of Zabuza, but ended up beating around Gato's henchmen instead. They had taken what the thugs had stolen and distributed it among the villagers, taking a fair portion back for the others. Inari was hardly able to believe what had happened, so sure was he in the invincibility of Gato.

Naruto idly stroked Lisette's hair, causing her to purr with pleasure. He couldn't care less about the fat merchant that had ensnared this town. It was the swordsman he was after.

XXX

Zabuza lay on the filthy mattress, his body blanketed with agony. He would probably be feeling a lot worse if The Gold hadn't burnt out most of his nerves, thus destroying his ability to feel pain. Instead, most of him felt numb and itchy, driving him insane as he was unable to lift his arms to scratch. The nerves that still worked, however, could cripple him with their pain output alone. Were it not for Haku's phenomenal healing capabilities, he would likely be dead. Even as he thought the name, his masked apprentice quietly entered the room.

"I'm going out to collect some more herbs." came the subdued murmur. "Will you be alright on your own?" Zabuza grunted in affirmation, wincing as the small motion sent a fresh wave of pain through his insides. _Please hurry. _he thought miserably, even as they grey figure receded from the doorway.

XXX

Tsunami placed the bowl of soup in front of Naruto, giving him a shy smile as she did so. Across the table, Lisette sent her a murderous look, even as Sakura badgered her on how she maintained her hair. Tazuna, Sasuke and Kakashi were keeping to themselves, drinking, brooding and reading porn respectively. Inari just sat, twiddling his thumbs and shooting nervous looks at Naruto.

"Excuse me... Naruto?" Inari was ignored.

"He says he's listening." said Lisette, sending yet another venomous look Tsunami's way.

"Oh, er, okay." said the boy nervously, glancing at the silent man. "I was wondering if I could ask you a... slightly personal question."

"He says 'How personal?'"

"Um, well, I was just wondering," he fidgeted for a moment, as he realized the only person who wasn't giving him their full attention was Naruto himself. "How did you lose your eye?" Sakura opened her mouth to say that he hadn't lost his eye, it was just a different color, when Sasuke hurriedly shushed her.

"He swapped it," said Lisette, when Naruto still didn't respond. "For the Eye of Aeon."

"Eye of Aeon?" said Kakashi curiously, as he had always wondered what Naruto's doujutsu was called. Sasuke too seemed interested.

Lisette rested her elbow on the table and her chin in her hand, a sardonic smile playing across her face. She gestured at Sasuke. "This boy," she began. "Is of the legendary Uchiha clan. Do you know what that means, Inari?" The boy shook his head emphatically, prompting another small smile. "He bears the Sharingan, which in theory lets him see what his opponent is going to do before he does it, but actuality only lets him make predictions based on body language." Here she sent a deliberately provocative smirk Sasuke's way, reminding him of his bloodline's flaws. "Naruto's right eye, in all seriousness, can actually see into the future." For several seconds, Lisette enjoyed her stunned audience's reactions before Inari piped up another question.

"Can you see into _my _future?" Lisette didn't answer, but looked across at Naruto. After a moment he sighed and placed his spoon on the table, before picking up his bowl and downing what remained of his soup. He put the bowl back down, then removed his hat and turned to look Inari in the eye. Beneath the hat, his hair was the same spiky mess Sasuke remembered from his academy days, and made him look a great deal younger.

"He says 'Are you sure. You may not like what I see.'"

There was a long, pregnant pause. "Yes, I'm sure."

Naruto removed his eye patch.

"He sees your mother being dragged away by samurai, while you watch crying from the window." Tsunami reeled back as if struck, her hand covering her mouth. "He sees the lands around here bathed in blue flames as a great black shadow passes overhead. He sees..." Lisette gave a confused frown. "He describes it as a flying ship, and he sees the shadow flying to meet it. He sees you again, Inari, leading an army of villagers to fight Gato's men, even as the ship falls burning from the sky." She paused to take in the looks of horrified disbelief on the faces of those around her. "The last vision comes in two versions. One shows an angel descending, empty-handed, from the sky, and you take your own life with a knife to the throat." Tsunami clutched her mute son to her breast, eyes filling with tears. "The other also contains the angel, but he carries your mother in his arms, and you reunite while shedding tears of joy."

Naruto suddenly stood up, replaced his hat and eye patch and left through the front door. "He always does this after making a prediction." observed Kakashi. Sasuke shot him a look.

"You _knew _about this."

"Sure. Didn't know what that eye of his was actually called though."

"Wait just one second," blurted Tazuna. "Does this mean we won't see my daughter again until Inari is old enough to lead an army? Is that what you're saying?"

"Not necessarily." murmured Lisette, her head having yet to leave her hand. "In every vision including Inari, he looked exactly the way he does now. Which means everything Naruto saw will happen during the course of this mission."

"And the only thing not set in stone," mused Sasuke. "Is whether or not Tsunami is brought back."

"It's the angel." said Inari suddenly. "It all depends on the angel."

"Yes." Lisette closed her eyes. "It all depends on the angel."

XXX

Naruto rubbed his eyes tiredly as he wandered through the dense woodland. While there was no denying his right eye was extremely useful, the future was a dark and horrifying place. On the other hand, the visions he had had of Inari's future were extremely interesting. He had never seen anything like it. And then there was that last part...

He sighed wearily and removed his hat, eye patch and coat. He carefully placed them in the high branches of a tree, then stepped back. He gave a grunt as the familiar yet still very peculiar sensations rippled through his shoulder blades.

They were beautiful, even Naruto had to admit. Each was bigger than his own body, and each perfect white feather glowed with a soft, holy light, illuminating the glade around him.

"_I'll teach you how to use it later," said Tenshin, in that same annoyingly cheerful voice. He began to roll up his sleeves. "But now, your legs."_

_Pulling his immense sword out of the air, Tenshin casually severed Naruto's legs above the knee in one swift, powerful strike. Naruto just gave a slight wince, the pain meaning nothing compared to what he had just been through. The silver-haired man unceremoniously kicked him onto his stomach, then placed the severed limbs stump first onto his shoulder blades. Their forms began to glow and change shape, and once more Naruto found himself screaming._

_When the process was complete, Tenshin tried to admire the limbs protruding from the blonde's back, but was distracted due to the fact that he had yet to stop screaming. "I am __**so **__glad your voice goes next."_

Naruto raised his mismatched eyes to the sky even as his equally mismatched arms stretched to the sides, the action copied by his immense set of wings.

He took flight.

XXX

Haku skipped through the woods, pleased at the opportunity to wear the beautiful pink kimono. Being a ninja necessitated the she often masquerade as a boy, and so she was grateful for any chance to act like a girl, even if it was in a serious situation such as this. The fact of the matter was, however, that Zabuza would be up and about again in the space of a week. Before he had discovered her Hyouton abilities and killed her mother, her father had taught her all sorts of things related to his own clan. One of the things she had excelled at, as it happened, was healing. It didn't seem fair, however, that with such advanced medical Jutsu that her father's clan possessed, she _still _required the use of herbs.

Speaking of which, she had just arrived at exactly the place she was looking for. The glade was dark, yet still lit by the pale moon overhead. The leaves whispered secret things as the wind slowly rustled through them, a crisp chill stroking the air. The herbs she was looking for grew thick as weeds around the clearing, gathering like an expectant audience around the great rock in the center. At the peak of the rock, a steady trickle of water bubbled forth, descending in myriad waterfalls to the bottom.

To Haku, it was the most beautiful place in the world.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the flapping of immense wings. The sound was incredibly loud, as if it were the eternal heartbeat of some wayward god. Haku stumbled backwards, as the source of the great sound landed at the peak of the rock. Her eyes widened in awe.

His wings were huge, and glowed a pristine, celestial white. His upper body was muscular and perfect, save for the gruesome, skinless left arm. His lower body bore the same pants and belt he had worn while fighting Zabuza, but those odd steel boots of his had morphed into what resembled talons, clutching the rock to prevent him from falling. His head was bowed down to the spring, eagerly drinking the life giving water. She could see the glint of his odd eyed stare from there, though he hadn't yet noticed her, and also how his golden hair framed his godlike face. He looked like... like... like...

"An angel." she breathed. His head shot up as soon as the words left her lips, and locked gazes with her. For a long moment they simply stared at one another, an endless gulf between them. Haku jumped slightly when the man jumped down towards her, each mighty flap of his wings sending a powerful gust of wind across the ground. He landed crouched in front of her, but didn't look at her. Instead, he gathered up a large armful of herbs and placed them neatly on the ground. He took the basket from her unresistant fingers, carefully stored the herbs within, then expectantly held it out to her. She hesitantly took it back, almost dropping the thing from nerves when their fingers touched, then awkwardly resumed staring at him. He made to turn away.

"Wait!" He looked back her in surprise, and she suddenly felt very self conscious. "Are you... an angel?" He looked at her for a long moment, then gave small chuckle. It was the first sound she'd heard him utter, and sounded like home and friendship. He nodded his head. Haku's grin nearly split her face. "Could you..." She shyly toed the ground. She should really ask this for Zabuza, but she'd fantasized about this for so long... "Could you watch over me please?" This time, he threw back his head and openly laughed, which she took as a yes. Unable to stop herself, she ran forward and wrapped her arms around his chest. He put his right arm around her and placed his left hand on her head, enfolding her in his wings as he did so. The talons of his red hand scratched her head lightly through her hair, feeling oddly comforting.

Eventually she pulled away, blushing through her grin. She opened her mouth to say something, but found her voice had left her. Crippled by shyness once again, she grabbed her basket and ran off, waving behind her as she went.

Naruto watched her go, smiling and waving until long after she was out of sight and officially cheered up after that crappy premonition. Some time later, he finally snapped himself out of it and took to the air once more.

The hunter-nin would live then. But Zabuza was still soooooo gunna geddit.

**This chapter was a tribute to Bloodline: Radiance by Viperflamer, which made me fall in love with the FemHaku pairing. Sadly, it appears to have been discontinued.**

**Next chapter is the Bridge Battle, but with a twist.**


	9. His Voice

**Disclaimer: **I do not not own Naruto.

Chapter 9

The day the mission to Wave really went to hell, Naruto and Lisette had left the house early to pick strawberries. The former had spotted a patch whilst flying, and had decided on showing the patch to Lisette. When Kakashi and his team woke up they assumed the pair were sleeping in, but were far too scared of them to attempt to wake them up. In the end, the original Team 7 set of to guard Tazuna themselves, intending for the two pseudo-ninjas to guard the house in their absence.

As such, due to a simple lack of communication (that was entirely Naruto and Lisette's fault) the house was left completely undefended.

XXX

As Tazuna and his men restarted work on the bridge, Kakashi turned to his Genin and clapped his hands in a businesslike manner. "Now then, my cute young students," he said perkily. "What shall I teach you today?"

Before they could answer, sarcastically or otherwise, a scream echoed from the fog. They watched as Tazuna's workmen, many sporting wounds all over their bodies, ran in terror from a tall, menacing shadow in the mist. "Today," hissed Zabuza, the hunter-nin at his side. "You, the bridge builder AND your pathetic brats die in the mud." He made the Tiger seal, and a dozen water clones sprang from the ground. "And this time, you don't have your pet monsters to save you."

XXX

Inari sat in his room, staring out over the forest. The man, Naruto, had left a very strong impression on him. He was like a pillar, an immovable obelisk, that even Gato could not touch. However, the premonitions Naruto had had, at Inari's own insistence, had been haunting his mind for days.

The boy had been entertaining thoughts of heroism, of going out to save his mother when the samurai came, but Sasuke's words echoed in mind,

"_And the only thing not set in stone," mused Sasuke. "Is whether or not Tsunami is brought back."_

In other words, his mother being taken away _was _set in stone, and nothing could be done to prevent it. And even if it wasn't, what could Inari, of all people, do to prevent it. He was a child, powerless and weak. Naruto had said it was a pair of samurai that took his mother. What could he possibly do against people like that.

A commotion downstairs broke him from his thoughts. Running to the window, he saw the very thing he had been dreading. Two men, one tall with an eye path like Naruto, the other short and with a strange hat, were dragging his mother away from the house. She was putting up a struggle, thrashing and screaming desperately, but to no avail. Inari watched, horrified, as tears fell down his cheeks.

And then he remembered. They _weren't _alone. They _did _stand a chance. Turning around, he rushed through the empty house to Naruto and Lisette's room, flinging open the door to find-

Nothing. The room was completely empty.

Inari fell to his knees, numb, as his mother's voice faded from hearing.

XXX

Sasuke leapt backwards acrobatically. He had found the hunter-nin to be his match in speed, but found himself holding the upper hand for most of the fight. Privately, he put it down to his Sharingan activating out of raw fear after watching Naruto's battle with Zabuza. However, it turned out the hunter-nin possessed the rare Hyouton bloodline, and was using a strange set of ice mirrors to both box him in and fling senbon at him from all directions.

Elsewhere, Kakashi was locked in combat with Zabuza while Sakura fearfully guarded Tazuna. The older two nin had fought one another to a draw thus far, but Sasuke had a feeling that, should he lose and the hunter-nin join the fight, then Kakashi wouldn't stand a chance.

Sasuke was broken from his thoughts as something impacted into the broad expanse of ground where no-one happened to be standing. Everyone stopped what they were doing and turned to see what had landed. The dust cleared.

"Alright then," thought Lisette. "Which one do you want?"

"Zabuza," thought back Naruto, as she thought he would. "Only..."

"Yes?"

"Let the hunter-nin live."

"What?" said Lisette out loud, but he had already sped off. Bemused, but ready to fulfill his request, she departed for the dome of ice.

XXX

Kakashi ducked under Zabuza's swing, and was just raising his tanto for a return blow when his danger senses began screaming at him to duck. He dove out of the way, only just avoiding Naruto as he barreled straight into Zabuza, claw meeting sword again and again in a lethal flurry.

He wisely chose to stay out of it.

XXX

Lisette sauntered up to the dome, a spectacularly unimpressed look adorning her face. She accessed a small portion of Liselotte's power, just as she did against Zabuza's Water Clones, and swiped her hand at the mirrors. As the green flames smoothly obliterated the icy structure, Lisette was treated to the sight of Sasuke doing his best impression of a pin cushion, the hunter-nin having placed him in the same near-death state she put Zabuza.

"Makyo Hyosho!" Lisette watched boredly as the dome reformed. Within seconds, dozens of duplicate hunter-nin images were circling her from all directions. She quirked an eyebrow.

"Demonic Ice Mirrors, huh?" Abruptly, Lisette threw back her head and laughed. Haku remained within her mirrors, eyeing her warily. Finally composing herself, Lisette reached up and began to fiddle with the back of her dress. "Let me show you something _really _demonic." The dress dropped to the ground. Underneath the dress, Lisette was wearing a light, form fitting suit of armor, dark red plates of a material Haku couldn't recognize molding to every curve of her body.

Without warning, Lisette gave an incredible roar, a wave of red chakra blasting out from her body and yet again incinerating the mirrors into nothing. Haku was blown away for several meters before coming to painful halt. She struggled to her feet.

Lisette had been true to her word. She looked incredibly demonic, with slitted red eyes, nails extended into claws and a veritable _cloak _of red chakra, whirling and thrashing around her like the tails of some angered Biju. Haku had never seen anything like it, save one run-in with a Kiri ANBU when she was younger. Zabuza had said the man's name was Utakata, and that he was a Jinchuriki.

It had felt _just _like this.

Lisette slowly raised her hand to her face, a ball of opaque, dark red chakra materializing in her hand. As the chakra coalesced, three wicked, curved spines sprouted from the back of each forearm, and her hair stiffened and stood out into a long, perfect arc down her back. In one swift motion, she swiped her hand from her forehead to her chin, the odd chakra sticking to her face and completely obscuring it from view. After a few moments it dissipated, leaving behind an eerie, bone white fox mask, the only traces of color being some squiggly red lines highlighting the brow and cheekbones. Out of the only two openings on the mask, a pair of glowing red eyes glared balefully out at her.

The cloak of chakra that had surrounded Lisette up until this point suddenly formed into an enormous ethereal claw, blazing forward to grab at her. Haku managed to jump out the way just in time, only to find that the other girl had moved with lightning speeds to intercept her. As claws met senbon, Haku was only just able to force the demonic girl away from her. A lethal game of cat and mouse ensued, the unstoppable force that Lisette had become blazed destructively onward, never deviating from her pursuit. For the first time since donning the mask of the hunter-nin, Haku well and truly felt like prey.

Using one of the many dirty tricks that Zabuza had taught her over the years, Haku twisted around one of Lisette's swipes in an attempt to get behind her. Not even bothering to turn around, the red pseudo-ninja continued the swing, bending her arm until it was crooked fully against itself and the elbow was pointed directly at her foe. Her eyes widening behind her mask, Haku's instincts saved her life as she twisted awkwardly in mid-air, just barely avoiding the lethal purple darts that erupted from her enemy's elbow. Haku landed badly, and was unable to dodge the crushing blow delivered to her face.

Lisette allowed the other girl to get her bearings, watching as the ruined mask fell from her face. With a negligent flick her own mask was broken from her face, her hair dropping down into it's previous state and the spines retracting into her wrists. The eyes, claws, fangs and aura, however, stayed. "Just curious," she said pleasantly. "But are you a boy or a girl?"

"A boy." Haku lied. Lisette chuckled.

"I can tell when people are lying to me you know." she grinned. Haku just grimaced and clutched her face. "You wouldn't happen to know why Naruto wants me to spare your life, would you?"

Haku didn't answer immediately, just looking at her through a curtain of sweat drenched hair. "Is he really..." She was panting, and barely able to speak. "Is he really an angel?"

Lisette's eyes softened, holding a tenderness that had been absent in the ferocity of battle. "Yes," she said quietly. "I think he is."

The Hyouton user was silent for a few seconds more. She gave a sad, resigned smile. Without saying another word, she brought up her left hand, twisting her fingers into a one-handed Ram Seal. A glowing purple pentacle, like a smaller version of the one used by Tenshin when summoning Blutsauger, appeared in front of her face. As a plain black sword hilt poked from it's center, Haku reached up and pulled it out, revealing an impressive full-length katana.

It's blade was as black as night.

Lisette's eyes widened as Haku got into a battle stance. She _knew _that sword. And it was NO REPLICA!

Haku tapped into the power of the sword in her hand. Her father only taught her a small portion of their family kenjutsu style before his death. She felt the world growing slower around her as the katana increased her speed to exponential levels. She lunged forward, intending to end things with one final blow-

-but was cut short as Lisette's dainty fist cracked ruthlessly into her jaw, sending a shock into her brain and knocking her unconscious. As Haku fell bonelessly to the ground, Lisette grabbed the back of her jacket in one hand and the back of her pants in the other, hauling her like a six-pack towards where Naruto was still locked in combat.

"Naruto," she screamed mentally. "This girl is a Kusakabe!"

XXX

Zabuza broke of from the relentless exchange, hurriedly running through the hand seals of his favorite Jutsu. "Kirigakure no Jutsu." Naruto frowned as his opponent vanished into the fog, then raised his claw over his head. _Cross Grave. _A flash of blinding green light dispersed the fog, only to reveal Zabuza being held down by what seemed to be dogs wearing clothes. He spared a glance at Kakashi, who still had his summon scroll out, then lunged, ready to end things when a mental shout echoed through his brain.

"Naruto," came the scream. "This girl is a Kusakabe." The immense adamantine claw halted mere inches in front of Zabuza's face. Slowly, incredulously, Naruto turned his head to where Lisette was dragging the unconscious girl towards him.

"Are you sure?"

"Sure? She has the Kogarasumaru Amakuni, blinding speed and all. Of course I'm sure!"

"Hey," shouted Zabuza angrily. "What did you do to-" He was cut of as Naruto's fist connected with his jaw, unknowingly mirroring how Lisette had earlier downed Haku. He looked at the sleek black katana, still clenched firmly between the girls fingers. It was definitely the real deal, the girl was of his clan. He reached out with his unscathed hand, hoping to touch the legendary blade, when the sounds of slow clapping reached his ears.

"Well well well," drawled Gato, earning coarse laughter from the army of thugs behind him. "I didn't think a simple Genin team would beat Zabuza. It's a good thing I have a back up plan." The fat businessman snapped his fingers, and Tsunami was dragged forwards by two of his henchmen. "Surrender, or the girl dies."

Lisette narrowed her eyes in disgust. "Coward," she hissed. "You would hide behind a hostage?"

Gato smirked. "Why not?" he drawled. "If it makes you feel any better, I'm hoping she lives." If possible, his sneer turned even crueler. "She'll make an excellent sex-slave." He turned to his men. "Which reminds me, I want the woman in the armor as well."

And with those words, Gato's fate was sealed. A wave of killer intent washed over all present as Naruto stepped forward, his face dark and thunderous. His left arm began to respond to his emotions, twisting and reforming hideously into a new form. The plated white armor gave way to corded skin, the even length bulged with muscle. The claw disappeared entirely, leaving a dark hole that extended down the inside of his suddenly hollow arm, almost like a...

Hundreds of short orange beams blasted out of Naruto's new arm cannon, slaughtering the thugs with deadly precision. Within seconds, only Gato, Tsunami and the two henchmen holding her were still standing. The one with the eye patch in particular looked scared shitless.

"Zori," he croaked. "What are we gunna do?"

His comrade didn't immediately reply, but looked at Naruto with a certain professional interest. Eventually, he turned back to his partner. "Sorry Waraji," he said insincerely. "But this is the end of the line." He grabbed Tsunami in one hand and Gato in the other. "I can only take two you know." He vanished in a puff of smoke.

Waraji's one visible eye widened. Zori could do _ninjutsu. _He found himself being forced to his feet, and was hit by the full force of the Copy-Nin's Sharingan enhanced glare. "Where?"

Waraji pointed feebly with one hand. "The mountain," he croaked. "Gato's been digging for something, but..." He was cut of by Kakashi slicing open his throat. Kakashi turned, but Naruto was already removing his hat, eye patch and coat.

He spread his wings.

_When the process was complete, Tenshin tried to admire the limbs protruding from the blonde's back, but was distracted due to the fact that he had yet to stop screaming. "I am __**so **__glad your voice goes next."_

_Reaching out, he placed the index and middle fingers of his right hand against Naruto's throat, and the boy suddenly found himself without a voice. A glowing green orb floated from his gaping mouth, floating down to his lower body. As it reached the stumps of his legs, it lit with a blinding light, forcing Naruto out of his torpor._

_When he could see again, he saw that every thing below his navel was encased in armor, extending down into a set of brand new legs that he found himself able to move at will._

"_There's a door on the front for when you want to pee." said Tenshin. He cracked his knuckles._

"_Now for the __**fun **__part."_

The powerful propulsion system on the bottom of Naruto's feet activated, sending him rocketing into the air, only his enormous wings giving him any control over his flight path.

Gato was now officially at the top of Naruto's shit list.

XXX

Gato stood inside the hollowed out mountain, admiring the immense glacier in front of him. Before it was a huge set of steps ending in a carved altar, before which he now stood. Within the glacier was the relic that had been used by the Great Demon Lord as his greatest weapon, and with it the world would be his.

One of the walls was busted inwards, and Naruto, in all his celestial glory, swooped in. "You're too late," sneered Gato. "Wave, and the rest of the world, are mine." He brought his hand down on top the altar. As the altar began to glow, huge cracks began to appear in the side of the ice, huge chunks began to break off and fall to the ground. The relic, which so many in Wave had died for, was revealed.

It was huge, greyish, green bristles going down its back and grey scales carpeting its front. Two enormous wings crested its back, a long serpentine tail idly crushed boulders behind it and its great head was raised over all on its great neck. The curving ram horns, gigantic teeth and hellish red eyes completed the look.

A dragon. Gato had been digging up a dragon.

Well... damn.

Gato raised his pudgy arms over his head, cackling insanely. "Greetings, Lord Peterhaussen! I am your new master, Gato!"

The dragon looked at him for a moment, then gave a dark and terrible laugh. "**Master? Don't make me laugh.**"

Gato suddenly looked uncertain. "But... I released you-"

"**YOU THINK I CARE!**" bellowed the dragon, and sent a colossal blast of blue fire at Gato, who, unfortunately, still had Tsunami with him.

Naruto jumped between them, blocking with his unbreakable claw. As the flames died down, he once again wished he had his voice, so he could curse.

Gato (Zori was still with him) had gotten away.

"**And you are?**" Naruto was very, very angry. Utilizing both his claw and his robotic legs, he delivered an earth-shattering rocket-powered punch to the beast's chin, sending it smashing through the side of the mountain.

XXX

Inari sat in his bedroom, head on his knees. His mother was gone... and he did nothing...

A blue flash went through the window, and he rushed to see what was going on.

A huge, terrifying dragon was soaring through the sky, igniting the land with blue fire. An angel – an angel! - was swooping around it, blasting strange orange bolts at it from his left arm. As Inari watched the two separated, and the angel's arm – the very one it had been using to attack until now – glowed orange.

Inari had no way of knowing Naruto had just discovered he could make his new arm cannon into a sword.

The two came together, smashing into one another like a thunder storm colliding with an earthquake and fell - locked together in an embrace of death - to the ground.

The world was still once more.

**Peterhaussen is from Ichiban Ushiro no Daimaou, and is my favorite dragon ever.**


	10. His Soul

**Disclaimer****: **I do not not own Naruto.

Chapter 10

Sakura sat worriedly over Sasuke's unmoving body, finding it hard to believe that he was only unconscious, not dead. Kakashi was down the hall, guarding the pair of captured nin. Tazuna and Inari were sitting at the table, staring into space. Though she could understand why they would be upset that Tsunami had been taken away, she was far more concerned over the fact that Naruto's prediction had come true.

Lisette - as a stark contrast - was ridiculously cheerful, taking over Tsunami's cooking duties and bustling merrily around the kitchen despite the fact that Naruto had yet to return. This was largely due to discovering that the hunter-nin was of her clan, a revelation that hadn't stopped Kakashi from wanting to kill her and her mentor both. Lisette had responded to this sentiment by threatening to choke him with his own intestines if he lay so much as a finger on either of them.

_Man _that girl was scary.

The pinkette almost jumped out of her skin as Sasuke stirred. She made to fetch her sensei, but discovered him to already be sitting next to her. "What happened?" her crush murmured blearily, making a feeble attempt to sit up.

Kakashi gently pushed him back down. "I'm afraid the hunter-nin put you in a near-death state. I'm actually rather impressed you're recovering so quickly. It's only been twelve hours since she put you under."

Sasuke's eyes tightened, his fists clenched. "Is he still alive?"

Kakashi nodded. "Actually, _she _is still alive. According to Lisette, anyway. She wouldn't let me close enough to check for myself."

Sasuke's eyes widened as he connected the dots. "Does that mean we've captured her?"

Kakashi gave a mournful nod. "Yes, but unfortunately we can't kill her. She's apparently a distant relative of Naruto and Lisette."

Sasuke's jaw dropped, completely abandoning his composure for the first time in the memory of any present. "She's a Kusakabe?"

"You know about the Kusakabe?"

"The internet is a wonderful place. Does she have any of the Kusakabe Treasures?"

"Yes. The Kogarasumaru Amakuni."

"That's the first sword, right? The granter of unlimited speed." Sasuke's face lit up for a moment, before sagging. "They'll kill me if I try and take it won't they."

"Most likely."

"Excuse me." Team Seven looked to the doorway. Leaning against the frame was Inari, looking serious. "Come downstairs. There's something I want to talk to you about." The three glanced at one another, then followed him to the kitchen table, finding Tazuna and Lisette already waiting. "You guys know that the first of Naruto's predictions came true, right?" Inari paused to allow everyone to nod. "Well, a while after Mom was taken, I saw something out the window..."

The group listened avidly as Inari recounted what he had seen, Kakashi speaking up towards the end. "So the shadow that brings the blue flames is a dragon. Just what we need."

"About the dragon," said Tazuna nervously, cringing as all eyes turned to him. "It sounds an awful lot like the Relic of the Great Demon Lord."

"The what now?"

"Here in Wave, we have a legend. I won't bore you with the details, but it is said that there was once a man who rose up against God, declaring himself the Lord of Demons. Before he was defeated, he created the Relic, whose sole purpose was to choose his successor."

"But," said Sakura, always asking the obvious questions. "The dragon can't be the Relic. It's a living being."

"No, it's not," sighed Tazuna. "The dragon is actually an extremely complex and powerful machine. Sure, it has the traditional flaming breath, but it can shoot other things from it's mouth as well, like missiles and things."

"For the benefit of Inari and Sasuke," said Lisette. "It should be noted that the angel you saw was probably Naruto."

"That was _Naruto _fighting that dragon!" exclaimed Inari. "Then that means the dragon-"

"-is probably under Gato's control." finished Kakashi grimly. A morbid silence descended.

"Uh... hello?"

Haku had actually woken up earlier that day, but had stayed in bed on Lisette's orders. By this point, however, her curiosity had gotten the better of her, and she couldn't help but go see what was going on. Strangely, the revelation that Naruto could see into the future didn't surprise her as much as it probably should have.

Lisette grabbed Sasuke's shoulder to stop him from attacking her. "Good morning Haku, how are you today."

"Er... fine thanks." Her eyes flitted nervously between the hostile gazes of the others. "Did he have any more visions?"

Good question.

"The next vision," grated Sasuke. "Was of a flying ship, and the dragon flying to meet it."

"Flying ship?" said Haku in surprise. "Are you talking about the Genkaku?"

"The what?" As if on cue, a powerful wind hit the cabin, causing it to rock and quake. The roof rattled, the walls creaked and a terrible crash sounded from outside, most likely the sound of a tree being blown over. The group exchanged looks before running outside.

The construct hovering over Wave was immense, easily double the size of the Hokage tower. It honestly did resemble a flying ship, though it was made of burnished steel rather than wood. It was cylindrical, with winglike ridges going along its sides that were underscored by intricate, glowing orange patterns. At the topmost part of the airship a large area capped by windows marked the captain(most likely Gato)'s location, and at the forefront of the vessel a large holographic screen had appeared, depicting Gatos smirking face. "Greetings, peasants."

Lisette facepalmed heavily. "Let me guess," she sighed. "That's the Genkaku."

"This will be the greatest weapon the world has ever seen," began Gato, who loved evil monologues. "With it I shall raze your entire puny country to the ground. I have lost interest in you, as your money and resources have long since dried up. I would have left you alone, were it not for _you__, _Tazuna, who have defied me time and time again. You I shall kill first, and know as you die that it is your own fault your countrymen will follow you into oblivion..."

The camera panned back, revealing Tsunami, bound and gagged, at Gato's left. "And that I shall defile your daughter, over and over again when you are gone. Goodbye." The screen disappeared, and dozens of rocket pods emerged from hidden nooks and hidey-holes across the Genkaku's sides. As the countless, white tailed missiles closed in, Inari closed his eyes. It was over.

There was a deafening noise and the ground shook, knocking the boy off his feet. At first he thought he was dead, as all he saw when he opened his eyes was darkness. Then the wing that had shielded them from certain death was removed, and he found himself staring into the huge, demonic red eyes of its owner.

"**Hello****." **rumbled Peterhaussen.

Three people crapped themselves. I'll let you guess who.

"Naruto!" blurted Kakashi, drawing their eyes to the blond figure standing between the dragon's shoulder-blades. Of course, the pseudo-ninja was still coatless, hatless and eyepatchless. His arm was in its cannon form, his wings were spread and his Eye was bared for the world to see.

"Okay," said Lisette. "What the HELL is going on!"

_Peterhaussen __lay __exhausted __on __the __rocky __floor__, __tiredly __shifting __some __of __the __debris __from __his __wings__. __Nearby __lay __Naruto__, __his __own __wings __splayed __to __the __sides __as __he __panted __heavily __on __his __back__._

"_**Well**__**," **__the __dragon __rumbled__. __**"**__**That **__**was **__**a **__**bit **__**flashy **__**wasn**__**'**__**t **__**it**__**."**_

_Indeed__, __their __colossal __battle __had __opened __up __a __huge __chasm __in __the __ground__, __at __the __bottom __of __which __they __were __currently __lying__._

"_**When **__**the **__**Great **__**Demon **__**Lord **__**sealed **__**me **__**away**__**," **__he __continued__. __**"**__**He **__**told **__**me **__**I **__**may **__**only **__**serve **__**another **__**should **__**they **__**surpass **__**him **__**in **__**power**__**, **__**and **__**I **__**can **__**tell **__**you **__**with **__**absolute **__**certainty**__**..." **__Naruto __raised __his __head __hopefully__. __**"**__**You **__**don**__**'**__**t **__**even **__**come **__**close**__**." **__His __head __sank __back __down__, __and __he __gave __the __dragon __the __finger__._

_Peterhaussen __laughed __goodnaturedly__, __and __the __ground __shook __a __little__. __**"**__**But **__**you**__**'**__**ve **__**got **__**chutzpah**__**, **__**I**__**'**__**ll **__**give **__**you **__**that**__**. **__**What **__**is **__**your **__**name**__**, **__**swordsman**__**?"**_

_Naruto __waved __one __finger __from __his __good __arm __in __a __circle __before __his __open __mouth__._

"_**So **__**you **__**are **__**mute**__**. **__**I **__**see**__**." **__Peterhaussen __closed __his __eyes __for __a __long __moment__, __then __said__, __**"**__**My **__**name **__**is **__**Peterhaussen**__**. **__**I **__**like **__**eating **__**things**__**, **__**breaking **__**things **__**and **__**blowing **__**shit **__**up**__**. **__**I **__**think **__**we**__**'**__**re **__**going **__**to **__**get **__**along **__**smashingly**__**."**_

"Was what happened."

Lisette facepalmed heavily. "Don't you think that's a little conveni-"

"The hell!" interrupted Sakura. "He just stood there without saying anything!"

"Sasuke. Bitch-slap her for me." He did. "Thank you." She turned to Haku and placed her hands on her shoulders. "You," she said seriously. "Are a Kusakabe. That makes us clan-sisters. When we kill Gato and go back to Konoha we're taking you with us, and if the Hokage doesn't accept you the whole clan'll uproot itself to stay with you, because family sticks together. Do you understand?"

"Yeah," said Haku hoarsely, her eyes burning a little. "Thanks."

"Great," nodded Lisette, and took her hand. "Now let's go carve that big tin can open!"

Peterhaussen nodded respectfully as the women boarded. **"****Ladies****."**

"Good day."

"'Sup."

"Now hold on!" shouted Kakashi, who was a little off balance from how easily everyone was just going with the flow. "What about us!"

"You?" said Lisette. "Naruto foretold Inari would lead an army. Lend him a hand. Hell, bring Zabuza! It''ll be fun!"

"Hm? You mean me?" said Zabuza, stepping out of the house just in time to be hit by the gale force winds as Peterhaussen took off, a roar that literally _burned _with bloodlust erupting from his terrifying jaws.

Again the Genkaku opened fire on the oncoming monster, the missiles from the right and left sides grouping together into twin clusters. Before they could hit home they were obliterated, destroyed by perfectly coordinated blasts of green fire and white ice. A stream of orange energy carved a long rupture in the vessel's side and three figures separated from the creatures back, disappearing into the ship's innards.

"Alright," Lisette nodded. "We're in the clear. Haku, you-"

She trailed off. Two glowing purple pentacles had appeared over each of Haku's shoulders, ornate sword hilts poking out from their centers. She grabbed them both and pulled.

The first sword was very long and straight, its design and color scheme resembling a streak of flowing lava. The Kusakabe Treasure of Fire. Kashagiri Hiromitsu.

The second sword was black and slightly shorter, the tip jagged so that it resembled a lightning bolt. The Kusakabe Treasure of Thunder. Tachibana Dousetsu Raikiri.

Haku paused at their stares. "What?"

Lisette facepalmed and sighed. "Nothing. Now, where is the engine and how easily can we destroy it?"

XXX

At ground level, a war had started. Inari had finally fulfilled his destiny, gathering an army of his countrymen and meeting Gato's mercenaries in combat. Here, today, they would finally earn their freedom.

Or at least, that was the idea.

"Say hello to my little friend!" Zabuza cackled, his massive sword felling enemies like wheat.

"That line is so overused!" complained Kakashi, fighting back to back with four Shadow Clones.

"Get out of the blast radius, bitch!" roared Sasuke, a huge fireball erupting from his lips.

"Kyaa!" screamed Sakura, planting an explosive tag onto a grunt's back as she vaulted to safety.

Inari shook his head and reloaded his crossbow. It didn't really matter who did the legwork, so long as the results were the same.

XXX

Back on the airship, Haku ran alone down a long corridor. The Kashagiri was large sword, usually meant for two-handed use. Haku however was ridiculously strong for her size, the blazing weapon slicing through flesh like cottage cheese and cauterizing anything left behind. Its more compact weight made the Raikiri that much faster, shredding opponents in a blur as electricity crackled along its length.

"She's headed for the engine room!" screamed one of the grunts ahead. "Shut the doors!" They heaved, two heavy men for each of the massive double doors. The bolt was in place mere seconds before the swordswoman met them. For a moment, they were safe.

Then Haku plunged the Raikiri into the floor, sending a surge of lightning through the metal. The thugs were cooked alive, organs melting on the spot. Haku allowed the Raikiri to disperse to the pocket dimension in which she usually kept it, then hefted the Kashagiri in both hands. The fire sword did not so much cut through the metal as blow it outwards, and had anything in the room been left alive they would have been torn apart by the shrapnel.

The Kashagiri dispersed as Haku stepped into the engine room, leaving her hands empty. She gazed upwards at the whirring steel monstrosity that gave the Genkaku life, and it suddenly occurred to her that she was on the bottom floor of the ship. The Kogarasumaru materialized in her hand, and she disappeared.

When she appeared again there was a brief moment of silence, before the engine - and a good portion of the floor - fell into space, plummeting through the air to shatter on the ground below. Haku jumped through the hole left behind, and for a brief moment she flew before Peterhaussen swooped down and caught her on his back.

XXX

Gato probably would have noticed his ship lose all power, if it weren't for the gigantic orange lightsaber that had burst through Zori's chest.

Gato stepped backwards, face contorting with fear as the avenging angel turned his way. They were in the docking bay, the door open to the sky, and behind him Gato could see flashes of green from the hallway as his friend slaughtered the last of the guards, the screams audible even over the sound of Zori's chest sizzling. Naruto lifted one huge metal foot over the carcass, the slow movement making an audible clang as he brought it down. He morphed his arm into claw form, raised it over his head and-

_Gato __reached __into __a __side __door __and __dragged __out __Tsunami__, __bound __and __gagged__. __He __threw __her __out __of __the __bay __doors __and __bolted__. __Naruto __hesitated__, __wondering __who __he __should __go __after__-_

-before lunging forward as Gato reached behind the door. They clashed awkwardly, and it ended with the Kusakabe barely holding Tsunami over the edge as Gato made for a side door with the words 'Escape Pod' written over it in big helpful letters. The Pod turned out to be more of an airplane, and the backlash as Gato blasted to freedom shook the entire ship. Naruto had taken the lull to cut Tsunami's bindings, and she had just removed her gag as the Genkaku quivered. She fell backwards, he reached forwards, but it was too late. She fell into space.

Naruto turned and saw Lisette already running towards him. He stretched his right hand toward her, and the impossible happened. He opened his mouth and screamed-

"Kuchiyose no Jutsu!"

"_Now __for __the __**fun **__part__."_

_Tenshin __raised __his __hand __over __the __seal __on __Naruto__'__s __stomach__. __Compared __to __the __previous __operations __this __one __was __suspiciously __painless__. __The __tattooed __lines __glowed __red__, __demonic __chakra __seeping __outwards __and __collecting __in __a __rotating __orb __of __youki __in __Tenshin__'__s __hand__. __A __face __flashed __within__._

"_Yo__! __Kyuubi__!" __came __that __irritatingly __chipper __voice__. "__How __long__'__s __it __been__!"_

_The __demon __only __snarled __in __response__._

"_Yeah__, __I __know__. __I __missed __you __too__." __grinned __Tenshin__. "__Sorry __about __this__, __but __I __need __your __chakra __for __something__. __You __have __to __die__."_

_The __face __looked __surprised__, __then __disappeared__. __It __was now simply __a __ball __of __chaotic __chakra__. __Tenshin __turned __to __the __prostrate __Naruto __and __winked __merrily__. "__Get __a __load __of __this __Naru__-__boya__," __he __smiled__. "__Miracles __do __happen__."_

_The __hand __not __holding __an __empty __demonic __soul __stretched __towards __the __Forest __of __Death__, __and __a __green __ball __of __fire __streaked __from the distance __to __land __in __his __open __palm__. __He __forced __the __spheres __together __and __they __began __to __mix__, __violently __twisting __together __until __one __color __was __indistinguishable __from __the __next__. __Then __he __slowly __pulled __his __hands __apart __and __the __construct __expanded __to __the __size __of __a __human__. __Something __shimmered __within__._

_The __bones __appeared __first__, __cold __and __white__._

_Then __the __muscles__, __knitting __together __amidst __a __network __of __organs __and __arteries__._

_Then __the __skin__, __soft __and __pale__._

_Then __the __hair__, __like __flowing __snow__._

_Then __the __clothes__, __a __dress __as __white __as __her __hair__._

_Her __eyes __opened__, __clear __and __blue __green __like __the __sea__._

"_You __gave __me __your __eye__, __and __I __gave __you __the __power __to __see __the __truth__."_

"_You __gave __me __your __arm__, __and __I __gave __you __a __weapon __to __strike __down __all __enemies__."_

"_You __gave __me __your __legs__, __and __I __gave __you __the __freedom __of __the __sky__."_

"_You __gave __me __your __voice__, __and __I __gave __you __armor __to __defend __against __all __evil__."_

"_You __gave __me __your __soul__, __and __I __gave __you __a __companion__. __One __to __stand __beside __you__, __through __the __good __times __and __the __bad__. __One __who __will __smile __when __you __laugh __and __who __will __weep __when __you __cry__. __One __who __will __never __hate __you__, __never __betray __you__, __never __leave __you__. __You __are __her__, __and __she __is __you__, __now __and __forever__."_

"_Was __it __worth __it__?"_

Lisette disintegrated, her frail body dissipating into red light. The errant chakra gathered in Naruto's hand, the glowing orb reminding him of the day she found her freedom. He turned and threw.

The orb blurred through the air, leaving a sizzling orange trail in its wake. Onward it went, past Gato and his escape pod, before crashing into the mountain side. In the cockpit, Gato saw the shadow rise up from the mountain.

"No," he whispered. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-"

Jaws that could bite through Peterhaussen closed around the craft. Its momentum kept it going, and the escape pod crumpled and exploded at the back of the fox's throat. She chewed and swallowed.

"**BEHOLD****!" **roared Lisette, her voice deeper but recognizable. **"****LISETTE****'****S ****ULTIMATE ****FUZZY ****MODE****!"**

XXX

Tsunami fell, her thoughts peaceful. She relaxed, the wind whipping at her hair, resigned to her fate. A hand caught her own, warm, human, comforting. She opened her eyes and saw an angel reaching out to her. The angel's other arm, red as blood, encircled her. Where the other was warm this one was cool, a relief to her burning skin. Their descent slowed.

"Mom!" Tsunami turned her head, and there was Inari. He was unhurt, and reaching for her with desperate hands. As Naruto touched down she squirmed from his grip and pulled Inari into her embrace, holding him as though he would disappear if she let go.

"So it was you all along," said Inari finally, not letting go of his mother. "You were the angel from the vision."

"Correct," nodded Naruto, surprising them. His voice was very deep and very rich. It had a comforting, honeyed timbre that did not so much command attention as magnetize it.

"You can talk?" blurted Inari, immediately cringing at the stupid question.

"Only when Lisette's in Ultimate Fuzzy Mode." Naruto nodded. He shifted at their amused looks. "Her name not mine."

They paused a moment, watching as dragon and demon laid waste to what was left of Gato's forces. "Naruto?"

"Yeah?"

"That second vision," Inari murmured, edging closer to his mother. "Where Mom didn't make it back. Did you make it up, or was it real?"

For a long moment Naruto just stood and looked at him. Then he smiled, spread his wings and took flight without another word. For a moment he hung there, an angel of salvation, before he crashed into the enemy ranks with a blaze of holy fire.


	11. Homecoming

Chapter 11

An ear-splitting roar tore the morning air apart. At first the citizens of Konoha were too shocked to react, cowering low to the ground and glancing fearfully at the sky. Then the massive, roaring shadow of the dragon swooped past, and all hell broke loose.

The crowds rioted in the streets, running screaming in every direction at once. Some ran into nearby buildings, violently shutting the doors on the arms and hands of those who tried to follow them in. Other flocked hysterically towards the emergency bunkers beneath the Hokage Monument, or pressed in a screaming throng against the gates, which couldn't be opened as the Chuunin were far too busy panicking themselves. More opportunistic locals looted the abandoned homes and businesses, though some merely found themselves repelled by those hiding from the chaos. Some were even killed by explosions from appliances that had been ditched in the general havoc. Driven mad with fear, the Village Hidden in the Leaves was plunged, howling, into anarchy.

"See?" said Lisette triumphantly. "Told you it'd be funny."

"I understand they'd be slightly prejudiced against giant monster attacks," murmured Haku, awestruck. "But isn't this a little over the top?"

"This is terrible!" gasped Sakura, but stayed where she was. They _were_ on the back of a dragon in flight after all. "Kakashi-sensei, shouldn't we do something?"

"Hm?" grunted Kakashi, briefly looking up from his porn. "What was that?" Sakura huffed in displeasure, and shot a look Sasuke's way. He was playing a game of chess with Naruto, which was fairly remarkable in its own right considering all the wind going past. As if the fur on Peterhaussen's back wasn't comfortable enough (and damn was it comfy) Lisette was casually leaning against the blonde man's back as she chatted with Haku, who squatted cross-legged opposite her. Zabuza, on the other hand...

"**And ****then ****he ****was ****all ****like****, '****That****'****s ****not ****my ****wife****! ****That****'****s ****my ****husband****!'"** The Dragon of Wave and the Demon of Mist erupted into raucous, lusty laughter, and Sakura shook her head at their casual depravity.

"You see that big ass building over there?" called Kakashi, finally putting his book away. "The one with 'Hokage' scrawled across the side? Just land on that."

"**Got ****it****."** Peterhaussen circled a few times before gently coming down to rest, his claws marking but not piercing the walls as the structure in general groaned beneath his weight. **"****Do ****you ****want ****me ****to ****move ****somewhere ****I ****won****'****t ****scare ****the ****natives****?"**

"Nah, you're cool." said Lisette, casually slapping the horrifying beast on the side before jumping to the ground, closely followed by everyone else. The last thing Sakura saw before they entered the building was the dragon lifting his head, snorting a puff of blue fire into the air and finally laying his head down for a nap.

XXX

"Well," said the Hokage, making a bridge with his fingers and peering over them at them at the assembled morons. "Well, well, well." Even Zabuza was starting to feel like a child that had been brought before the principal.

"To be fair," said Kakashi apologetically. "This isn't the first time this' happened. You can't be _that_ surprised."

Sasuke blinked. "You mean to say that at some point in the past, someone from this village has gone on a C-rank, awakened a centuries old demonic weapon, used it _and_ the king of the biju-"

"Queen," corrected Lisette absently.

"-to destroy a megalomaniacal dictator, then returned with an S-ranked missing-nin and a thought-extinct bloodline expecting to be welcomed with open arms?"

"Go ahead," smirked Kakashi. "Tell them about your first Genin team."

"Hang on," frowned Sarutobi. "What was that about a bloodline?"

Before anyone could stop her, Sakura said, "That's Haku! She's got the Hyouton!" Zabuza and his apprentice both tensed, rightly assuming that he had untoward intentions.

"Naruto says, 'Haku is a Kusakabe; she, and by extension Zabuza, are under my clan's protection'."

"The hell they are!" snarled the Sandaime. "Don't think just because your clan is doing us a favor you can do whatever you like! Kakashi! Arrest them both!"

"I know this is our first meeting and all," murmured Zabuza. "But isn't this a little out of character?"

"Watch." Lisette whispered back.

"I can't do that sir," sighed Kakashi, rubbing the back of his head apologetically.

"And why not?"

"Because we both know that as soon as the clanhead walks through that door you're going to change your mind."

"I will not!" screamed the Hokage, sounding nigh hysterical as he slammed both fists on his desk. Evidently, this was a sore spot for him. "I am Hiruzen Sarutobi, Sandaime Hokage, God of Shinobi, _the __motherfucking __Professor__!_ These two are worth... are worth..." He gave them an evaluating look. "A lot," he decided finally. "And come hell or high water, there is nothing - repeat, NOTHING - that _that __woman_ can do about it. So don't you think for one damn minute that that woman can just walk in here and say-"

"Excuse me, I hope I'm not interrupting."

Misao Kusakabe was as beautiful as always, of course. Her perfumed scent danced across the room as she slowly stepped through the door, demurely pulling up alongside her son. Naruto smiled at her tenderly, and Lisette gave a cheerful, "Yo, Superbia!" She smiled at them warmly, and Haku noticed that Zabuza had actually started to drool.

Sarutobi moved so fast, it was like he had teleported from behind his desk to a kneeling position at Misao's feet. "I adore you."

"I know," she giggled, patting him gently on the cheek. She turned to Haku, who straightened up self-consciously. "I thought I sensed some familiar blood." Misao took the younger girl by the chin and gently turned her from side to side. "Why, you're almost the spitting image of myself when I was your age!"

"Hear that?" grinned Lisette. "That's going to be you someday."

Haku blushed, but didn't stutter. "My name is Haku Kusakabe. It's very nice to meet you."

"Misao." said Misao. "Now, is that a Kusakabe Treasure I-"

"Hold on," said Sasuke. "Did you just say Misao? As in _the_ Misao Kusakabe? Wouldn't that make you over a hundred-"

"It's not nice to bring up a lady's age, Uchiha-san." chided Misao. She turned back to her descendant. "So you have a Treasure, Haku?"

"Actually, she's got three." said Lisette.

"Actually, she's got five." said Zabuza, and even Naruto started in shock.

"You have the full Five Kusakabe Treasures!" gasped Misao, and Haku looked down at her feet bashfully. "The strain on your body must be incredible!"

"Strain?" said Zabuza, his face immediately alight with paternal concern. "Haku, are you-"

"What? No, I don't feel strained or anything!" said Haku, surprised and a little pleased by his outburst. "I've had them since I was six, but I've never felt anything like that."

The look of shock on Misao's face slowly faded into a thoughtful one. "I see," she murmured. "Well, isn't that interesting." She turned to the Sandaime, who had yet to move from his position on the floor. "Hiruzen?"

"Yes?" he grunted, his eyes fluttering open. Haku quietly wondered if he'd fallen asleep while they were talking.

"I have a favor to ask."

"Anything." he replied instantly.

"I know you were _so_ looking forward to these two joining your ranks, but I'm afraid my heart is now set on them." She began to trail her fingertips up his neck. "I'm sure there's something I could do to make it up to you."

"No," the poor old man croaked. "Take them. Just take them, as an expression of my... of my..."

"Yes?" said Misao encouragingly.

"Of my love." he said finally.

As his leader was systematically emasculated before his eyes, Kakashi sighed and face palmed.

"You kids should go," chirruped Misao, her fingers not leaving the Hokage's neck. "I still need to hammer out some details here. Go and show our new friends around town."

There was something tragic about the ensuing silence; the group trooping out the door, leaving the spider to her fly.

XXX

As soon as he left the building, Naruto was hit by a silver streak of enthusiasm moving a hundred miles an hour.

"Helloooo Narutoooo!" Tenshin yodeled, before both of them went rolling chaotically across the ground. Their momentum was enough that both of them went crashing into (and through) two market stalls, before rolling to a stop in the middle of the road. If Tenshin's plan was to get them both killed in oncoming traffic, he failed. Anyone who wasn't hiding in their basement was watching the village's entire ANBU force throwing every jutsu they had at the dragon reclining on their boss' office. Peterhaussen seemed totally relaxed, either not noticing or not minding as the hail of elemental death bounced off his hide like tic-tacs.

"'Bout time you guys got back," said Tenshin. He heaved himself upright, but Naruto scowled when he didn't get off. "And Lisette too!" he noted, as the girl in question drew up to them. "It seems we have a dog-pile on our hands."

Naruto's eyes widened, and he began to shake his head wildly.

"Sorry, dude." said Lisette. "I gotta."

She jumped off the wall, for altitude, then dropped elbow first.

XXX

"One Anti-Tsukuyomi no Jutsu, as promised," grunted Tenshin, dropping a rather small scroll in Sasuke's hands. For you among the readers who've forgotten, it was for the bet they'd made back in chapter five. "Now, who wants to join us for ramen!"

Sasuke didn't answer, walking off with his nose in his new jutsu scroll. Sakura mentioned something about meeting up with her family and Kakashi just wasn't there anymore by the time he asked. As it was, only the five of them (Naruto, Lisette, Haku, Zabuza and Tenshin) gathered at the Ichiraku Ramen Bar.

"So you're the new girl," said Tenshin, once everyone had ordered. "Scrawny thing aren't you?"

"I..." Haku looked incredibly pitiful, as if this meant she would no longer be welcome. "I'm sorry sir..."

"Don't call him sir." said Lisette. "It's respect he doesn't deserve."

"How rude," pouted Tenshin. "Who was it that taught you and blondie everything you know? Who?"

"Not you. You spent all your time hitting on Superbia and dragging us off to play pranks on the Hyuuga clan."

"Who is Superbia?" asked Zabuza curiously.

"Naruto says, 'It's mom's codename. It means Pride'."

"Haku?"

"Y-yes?" she stammered, surprised when the white haired man suddenly addressed her.

"I hear you have all five Treasures."

"T-that's right, yes."

"And that includes the Doujigiri Yasutsuna."

"Right."

"May I see it?"

There was a brief flare of light, and a weapon Haku had never had to use appeared in her hands. It was slimmer than the other Treasures, almost like an ordinary sword, except for the septet of orange, plant-like bulbs surrounding the crossguard. Tenshin leaned forward and swept his eyes along its length. "Would you like to hold it?" asked Haku nervously.

"That thing?" said Tenshin, his eyes never leaving the unsettling blade. "Hell no. I don't know how you can bear to touch it, to be perfectly honest." The sword flickered out of existence, and everyone let out a breath they hadn't realized they'd been holding. "Tell me girl, do you know how the Treasures were made?"

"W-what?" babbled Haku, more than a little startled. "I just inherited these from my father-"

"Would you like to know?"

"I would." said Kakashi, suddenly appearing and making everyone jump. He picked a stool as Tenshin rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

"I don't know much about how they were originally forged," he admitted slowly. "But I do know how they were given their powers. It's nothing complicated; basically, they take on the attributes of whatever they kill first. The Kogarasumaru Amakuni was used to kill a giant crow demon, for example."

"And the Raikiri killed a Raijin." guessed Haku, and got an approving nod.

"Exactly, which is where they got their speed and lightning powers respectively. However, whilst the legends say that the five shinobi element are represented among five of the blades, this is only three fifths true. The Raikiri is lightning, the Kashagiri is fire and the Kumogiri is wind, but the Kannagiri and Onigiri are a bit different to what it says on the tin."

"The Kannagiri just extends its blade," frowned Haku. "Which I suppose could be... metal manipulation?"

"Right," nodded Tenshin. "Which is where it got its reputation of earth. The Onigiri on the other hand manipulate blood, which eventually became water through word of mouth. That, or the clan just thought the five element thing was sexier. The point is, the last and greatest of the Kusakabe Treasures, the Doujigiri, was used to kill Shutendouji himself."

"One of the three great youkai," nodded Zabuza, surprising a few people. "On the level of the Nine Tailed Demon Fox."

"A word of advice girl," murmured Tenshin, swallowing a mouthful of ramen. "Don't use that thing if you can help it. You'll live longer."

The following silence was somber, as the group processed the information. Haku in particular was worried, feeling as if the Gold and Silver duo wouldn't want her in their clan now that they knew about that god forsaken weapon. She glanced nervously at Naruto-

-but couldn't see him due to the gigantic breasts sticking out over each shoulder. "Naruto-kuuun!" cooed an unfamiliar voice. "You're home at last!"

"Hey!" shouted Lisette, jumping to her feet. "Get your hands off him, bimbo!" The newcomer was tall, voluptuous and very, very beautiful. She had long, bluish-black hair and very pale eyes, without pupils.

"Pfft!" snorted Hinata dismissively. "Noisy midget."

"Don't call me that!"

"Mou, you should ditch that psychotic goth loli and spend time with a real woman."

"I said get the hell away from him, slut!" snarled Lisette. "And I'm not a loli!"

"Really, you seem pretty-" she puffed her chest out haughtily. "-little to me."

For a moment Lisette's eyes shifted between light blue, dark green and angry red so quickly it resembled a roulette wheel, until finally they settled on their natural color. She put one hand to her forehead and made an effort to act superior. "You poor, naive little girl. Obviously, you hadn't heard of Haku."

Hinata frowned. "You mean that girl over there? What about her?"

"Haku is a genuine, blood-born bona fide Kusakabe!" declared Lisette proudly. "Which means Naruto (who was only adopted) is her bride-to-be." Naruto, Haku and Zabuza suddenly started choking on their noodles, and the latter desperately grabbed for a glass of water.

"And you're okay with this why?"

"Naruto and I are a package deal! A threesome is the obvious solution!" Zabuza did a spit-take, drenching everyone sitting near him.

Hinata didn't miss a beat. "Pathetic. I am by far the best choice for threesomes with his wife."

"Uh," said Haku weakly. "Don't I get a say in-"

"Udder woman!"

"Goth loli!"

At some point, each of them had taken up position on one of Naruto's knees, arguing the entire time. Naruto just gave a frustrated sigh, as they were making it very difficult for him to eat.

XXX

"Hi guys!" called Misao cheerfully, running into them as they left the restaurant. "Have fun?"

"Hello there darling," grinned Tenshin libidinously. "Radiant as always."

She ignored him utterly. "So Kakashi, Zabuza, I hear you're the ones I have to thank for my new family member."

The two men looked rather surprised at being singled out. "Ah, well," said Kakashi, rubbing the back of his head bashfully. "It was really a string of random coincidences-"

"Nevertheless," smiled Misao. "I would like to show my gratitude. Now, I believe that your family owns the White Light Chakra Sabre..." She turned to Zabuza. "And you own the Kubikiribocho. Why don't you let me give them an upgrade?"

"...Huh?"

"The Eighth and Ninth Kusakabe Treasures," she smiled. "What do you say!"

It suddenly occurred to Naruto that Peterhaussen was _still_ lying on top of the Hokage residence.

Dammit.


	12. Sand Storm

Chapter 12

"GOOOOD MOOOORNING NARUTOOOOO!" The blonde was immediately wide awake, rolling out the way seconds before Tenshin's feet splintered his bed in half. "As expected of my apprentice. Your field trip has done nothing to dull your senses."

Lisette slowly opened her eyes, yawning cutely. She had been nuzzling into Naruto's chest as they slept, and he had tucked her under his arm before leaping to safety. "Hn? Wuz goin' on-" Tenshin dashed in for a second strike, Blutsauger materializing in his hand. The glowing blade crashed through the stone floor, and several meters away a huge wound was cut into the wall. "What the hell is wrong with you?" screamed Lisette, landing with surprising grace a few feet from her partner. "Are you crazy?"

"Of course he's crazy." Naruto thought at her. "He taught us to fight, remember?" His left arm morphed into its cannon form and launched a volley of orange spears. Blutsauger sang through the air, and as each one shattered Lisette drew closer; she was running across the walls towards him, having ditched her dress in favor of the armor beneath and donned a cloak of the Nine-Tails' chakra. Though her enhanced physical capabilities were utilized to their fullest in close quarters combat she was still outmatched, her every blow deflected by precision-point kicks even as Tenshin continued to deflect Naruto's attacks with his sword. In a sense, he was using the upper and lower halves of his body to fight them separately.

In a move Tenshin hadn't seen before Lisette manifested her Fox Mask without hand movement, a blast of toxic yoki exploding from her body and tearing Blutsauger from its master's grip. Seizing the opportunity, Naruto pointed his cannon at the weapon; a whip of energy flashing out to wrap around the sword's hilt. Lisette jumped back to his side as he swung the ungodly instrument overhead, embedding it in the wall behind them. For a brief moment the pair exchanged looks. Never before had they successfully disarmed him. Maybe, just maybe, they were finally going to-

"Haien." said Tenshin. Standing with his hands slightly apart from his hips, purple energy began to crackle between his fingertips. Lunging with a left underhand, a bolt of pure energy was sent hurtling forwards; dozens more followed it, as Tenshin punched with alternating hands at a machine gun's pace. Naruto switched his arm into its sword mode while Lisette channeled chakra to her armor, the pair of them covering one another as they dodged or deflected the hail of purple death.

Abruptly, Naruto found something was obstructing his arm. It was caught in what appeared to be orange webbing, which was slung haphazardly across the back of the room. It looked like it had been there for a while, and Tenshin was simply waiting for one of them to get caught. "When did he-"

"Fushibi." The strands ignited, the air inside the closed space erupting into flame. Luckily the roof had been blown off by the blast, so it was a simple affair for Naruto to jump to safety. Even with his claw form protecting him, however, it had been a close call. His room was in the compound the Black Knights (now calling themselves the Kusakabe clan) had built after he had joined. It was situated directly beneath the Forest of Death, which meant he was now standing, coughing, amidst the colossal trees. There was a blur at the edge of vision, and Tenshin was on him once more. "Sekienton."

A sudden smoke screen hit him in the face, and Naruto's coughing fits renewed themselves as he staggered backwards. His tormentor was nowhere to be seen. For that matter, neither was Lisette.

"Shit!"

_Elsewhere..._

Lisette groaned as she picked herself up. She had been blown further away from ground zero than she was comfortable with, and while she had retained her cloak her mask had been destroyed on impact. It was a form of non-physical onmyo talisman Misao had made her, specifically constructed to allow her to use as much yoki as possible without having to transform into a Tailed Beast outright. Abruptly, Tenshin fell out of the sky in front of her; she stumbled back in shock, an opening he took immediate advantage of.

"Geki." Her body encased in red light, Lisette found herself paralyzed from the neck down; her momentum carried her backwards, and soon she was lying helpless on the ground. "Gochutekkan." Five massive, pentagonal steel pillars connected by chains fell from the sky, one landing on her chest, each arm and each leg. She was still wearing her chakra cloak, so she could take it.

Tenshin looked at the branches overhead, pointing his palm skyward. "Tsuriboshi." An orb of blue light flashed from his palm, expanding into a net of blue webbing caught amidst the upper branches. By this point Lisette had shrugged off the Geki binding and was struggling to remove the pillars, apparently unable to conjure another mask so soon. Tenshin stood over her and aimed both hands at her face. "Raikoho."

The twin blasts of lightning weren't meant to injure, but rather to propel; Tenshin was launched vertically into the air by the shockwave, rotating about his center of gravity until he landed feet first in the middle of the Tsuriboshi net. Just before it could launch him back the way he came, he whispered, "Tozansho." A transparent purple barrier shaped like an upside down pyramid formed around him, the peak pointing directly at the struggling Lisette. The tension became too much, and Tenshin was sent rocketing into the ground like a purple pointy ping pong ball of doom.

The Gochutekkan were blown apart by the impact, the crater that formed beneath Lisette's body sending a cloud of dust billowing through the trees. After a moment of chaos, Tenshin strode whistling from the smoke screen. "Enkosen." The circular orange barrier that appeared over his left forearm was all that saved him from Naruto's arm cannon. His free arm reached underneath his armpit to point palm first at his disciple. "Gaki Rekko." A transparent green circle formed over his palm, dozens of green energy beams flying forth from the center. Naruto countered with a barrage of spears from his own cannon, the two attacks crashing against one another with multiple simultaneous explosions.

Naruto tried to remove his eye-patch in the chaos, but Tenshin darted straight between the hail of light with his fist cocked back. Naruto morphed his arm into its sword form and brought it down, but the attack had been a feint. Tenshin brought up his other arm to defend with the back of his hand. "Seki." The tiny disk of light that appeared over his wrist instantly reminded Naruto of their first meeting; when Tenshin had used the same technique to defeat Kakashi. Unable to halt the swing, Naruto morphed his feet into claws and dug them deep into the ground; just in time, for as soon as his blow made contact his whole body was repelled, deep furrows dug into the ground as he was blown back.

"Horin." An orange whip streaked with yellow erupted from Tenshin's finger, wrapping itself around Naruto's foot. With a flick of the wrist the blonde was sent flying into the air, far above the tree tops. Again he was hit by a blast from the past, this time the technique used to defeat Gai. "Sajo Sabaku." The golden chains burst out of nowhere, binding his arms to his sides. Then Tenshin was there, _standing_ on him and riding him like a surfboard; straight towards the Tsuriboshi net that was even now nestled amidst the branches. "Kongobaku." A huge fireball launched from Tenshin's palm, searing a hole through the net. He finally separated from his blonde apprentice, pointing both hands as he fell. "Hyoga Seiran." Now frozen in a block of ice, Naruto hurtled helplessly to the ground.

By this point, Lisette was finally picking herself up. Her body armor (forged and enchanted by Avaritia) groaned in protest at the punishment, causing her to sheepishly glance upwards at where the last attack had come from…

...only to see a giant frozen meteorite falling out of the sky towards her. "Rikujokoro." Six beams of light embedded themselves into her waist, preventing her from escaping. Off to the side, she spotted Tenshin giving her a friendly wave. With an angry snarl she summoned her mask, channeled all the chakra she could into her arms and met the glacier head on. Her arms immediately bent under the immense weight, the frozen boulder crunching painfully into her a shoulders. A huge crater was forced into the ground beneath her feet, while four long fissures snaked out from the center at ninety degree angles, uprooting and toppling the immense trees they passed by. It was almost good enough.

Black walls rose up around her, trapping both Lisette and Naruto in a colossal cuboid of darkness. Outside the technique, Tenshin smirked. "Kurohitsugi."

The barrier imploded.

"Congratulations, my cute students," smiled Tenshin. "You have made me become slightly serious."

A frying pan collided hard with the back of his head. "What the hell to think you're doing!"

_Later…_

Naruto and Lisette slumped miserably over the counter of the Ichiraku ramen stand. Their bowls were already in front of them, but they couldn't find the arm strength to lift their chopsticks. "I don't understand." said Kakashi. "You train with him every morning. What's so different about today?"

"He had no sword today." groaned Lisette. She brought some noodles to her mouth with one shaking hand, but her arm fell limp halfway. "Never again."

"So he's a hand to hand fighter then?" mused Sasuke. He was trying to be a calculating Uchiha, he really was, but the Anti-Tsukuyomi scroll Tenshin had given him was commanding too much of his attention.

"Bzzt! Wrong!" said Tenshin cheerfully, digging into his own food with gusto. "I used my 'special powers'."

"What kind of special powers?" wondered Zabuza.

"Can't you tell from my Badass Longcoat?" said Tenshin, flipping the article of clothing in question. "I have Gary-Stu powers!"

Everyone looked at him.

"...Misao-sensei?" whispered Haku hesitantly. "Is he joking?"

"You'd think so, but no." sighed Misao. "He has actual Gary-Stu powers."

"In retrospect, it does make sense." said Zabuza reasonably. "I mean he has all the symptoms. He's strong and undefeated. He wears a long coat but doesn't bother with a shirt. He's an asshole, but everyone likes him. I can think of only four women I've met since coming here that aren't plotting to get into his pants in some way." He did not count Sakura here. He had not yet noticed she existed. "His hair is a weird color. He's attractive in both masculine and feminine ways-"

"Hey," said Tenshin in annoyance. "I'll have you know my hair is dark brown naturally."

"-He gave Naruto all those power-ups with virtually no explanation behind them…" Zabuza continued, before realizing Tenshin had just said something mind-fuckingly outrageous. "Wait, what!"

"I'll admit his wings and leg armor were modded directly using my GSP," rambled Tenshin, not noticing the looks he was getting. "And even if I did create Lisette's body by cannibalizing the chakra of that one guy who wouldn't tell me his name, that was mostly me also. But the Innocence was a family heirloom. And I just so happened to have the Eye of Aeon on me at the time. The last owner was this complete retard who-"

"Hold it hold it hold it!" said Lisette. "What was that about your hair?"

"Huh?" blinked Tenshin. "Wasn't it obvious? Whose hair is naturally silver, I mean SERIOUSLY?"

"Mine is." said Kakashi. "Why not yours?"

"Really? I just thought you were attention seeking, what with the mask and the porn and everything."

"So why do you dye it?" asked Sasuke, before his teacher could get bitchy.

"It's not dyed." said Tenshin. "When I was born - long before I had any powers of my own - I was malformed, and my parents abandoned me. I was adopted by a drifter when I was four, and when I was eight he was killed in front of me in a manner so horrifying my hair turned white from shock." He said all this with a completely straight face, and it was hard for anyone to tell if he was being serious or if it was just his usual twisted sense of humor. Before anyone could try and call him out on it, a new presence made itself known.

"Naruto-kuuuun!" Abruptly, the blonde's head disappeared into Hinata's cleavage. "It's so good to see you toda- Huh? Why aren't you trying to escape?"

"So you admit that he doesn't like it." said Sakura, who hadn't said much so far.

"My breasts are big enough that they can actually cut off his breathing. It's escape or die." She gently pulled his face free and examined his only visible eye, which was glassy with exhaustion. "I just do it anyway cuz it feels nice."

"What!"

"Are you injured?" frowned Hinata, ignoring the pinkette's outrage. "Here, let me fix you up." She plopped herself in his lap, allowing her hands to wander across his chest as they glowed with soothing healing chakra. "Mm… You're so muscular Naruto-kun."

"As soon as she's done, she dies."

"You should get her to do you next. She does pretty good work."

"Just curious," said Sasuke dryly. "But wasn't Hinata a lot shyer than this back in the academy?"

"As far as I know, Naruto saved Hinata from bullies around the same time I adopted him." said Misao. "Him and Lisette only came back into the actual village a few months ago. Before that they just stuck to the training grounds in general. Hinata would always seem to find them, following them everywhere. It was so cute!" Misao turned to the petite white haired girl next to her, and her smile turned soft. "Lisette was always watching out for her, like she was her own sister."

"Should've just chased the bitch off." Lisette grumbled, as Hinata continued to grope her partner shamelessly.

"One day Hinata came to us and told us her father was considering sending her to the Branch House, and Naruto's advice was to just take the Caged Bird Seal and be done with it."

"Huh?" blinked Sasuke. His reaction was mirrored by Sakura, Haku and Zabuza. "What do you mean-"

"The Branch House actually has a lot of advantages the Main Family doesn't," explained Misao. "They don't have to duel their siblings in front of the clan elders, they don't get targeted by assassins, they don't have to learn Politics or Gentle Fist techniques - both of which Hinata hates - they aren't stereotyped as hardasses, they don't have to keep that high class image in public-" As if on cue, Naruto gave an odd yelp and began trying to push the Hyuuga off his lap with energy he hadn't had before she healed him. Hinata resisted his efforts even as Lisette moved help. "-and they're allowed to marry outside the clan."

"Damn straight!" nodded Hinata, who had finally been forced away from… from whatever it was she'd been touching. She flipped back her fringe, proudly displaying the Caged Bird Seal on her forehead. "I can do as many pervy things with Naruto-kun and Haku-chan as I want! Suck on THAT daddy!"

"I keep telling you we're not like that!" protested Haku, her face turning red as she avoided Naruto's gaze.

"You keep on ranting about this imagined future," sighed Lisette, who had taken Hinata's spot on Naruto's lap. This was not a good thing, as his ramen was starting to get cold. "Your delusions amuse and sadden me simultaneously."

"Say what what you like, but when Naruto-kun and I first met-"

"You ran and left him, right?" Hinata froze.

"I… I was eight! And you didn't help either!"

"Naruto was eight too. Didn't stop him." countered Lisette. "And I had an excellent excuse for being elsewhere. You were just useless."

Hinata twitched for a moment, before she put on her best 'haughty ojou-sama' face. "That's rich, from a girl who can't even use chakra."

Lisette turned red. "I-I-I can so use chakra!"

"You can use the Nine Tails' chakra," corrected Hinata, warming to her theme. "Which is so inflexible it doesn't even count." Lisette clenched her fists. "Then again, there's nothing wrong with a jinchuuriki using their Biju's power, right? But wait, you're not a jinchuuriki! Naruto-kun is!" Lisette's head bowed, and her shoulders started to quiver. "Then again if Naruto-kun wants to take pity on you, it's not my place to stop him."

There was a deafening silence. Tiny sniffles echoed across the street. "I… I'm not useless…" Lisette mumbled. Her head still bowed, she was rubbing at her eyes with her hands as though trying to physically trying to push back the tears. "I'm not… Naruto's not…"

"That was _mean_ Hinata." said Tenshin.

"Don't cry!" panicked Hinata, crouching by the smaller girl's side and taking one hand comfortingly. "I take it all back! I didn't mean it! Any of it!"

"I _am_ helpful to Naruto." sobbed Lisette, still rubbing at her eyes with one hand. By now, the tears were clearly visible. "I _am_."

"Of course you are!" nodded Hinata frantically, looking incredibly guilty and regretful. "Naruto wouldn't have you by his side all the time if he didn't want you there, right?" She got a tiny nod in response. "Right. Now how about I get you some ice cream right now as an apology." Lisette gently slid off Naruto's lap, allowing herself to be led away by the hand. There was an odd pause.

"They _try_ to be enemies," sighed Misao. "They really do."

Killing intent blanketed the area. Sasuke and Sakura froze where they sat as the murderous intent hit them, while Kakashi, Haku and Zabuza whirled around with their weapons at their fingertips. Haku was the only one who could use her sword, as the Kusakabe clan was still hard at work on the Eighth and Ninth Treasures. Misao and Tenshin just kept eating as if nothing was wrong, while Naruto glanced over his shoulder with a blase, uninterested expression.

Standing in front of Ichiraku Ramen was a red-haired boy of average build. He was wearing the worn traveling garb favored by sand-nin, and on his back rested a huge brown gourd. There were black bags around his eyes from sleep deprivation, and he had an odd scar on his forehead shaped like the word 'love'. Behind him stood a girl with blonde hair and a boy in a cat suit. They both stank of fear.

"...So…" he murmured stoically. "...You are a jinchuuriki."

Naruto frowned thoughtfully. Did he know this kid?

Luckily, he was saved from embarrassment by his Eye, which could see into the past as well as the future. He calmly flipped his eye-patch up, and-

_Out of the corner of his eye Naruto spotted a short, red-headed boy, again his own age, watching the blatant display of bullying from the cover of the forest. After a few moments of watching, he turned and vanished into the undergrowth._

The bowl shattered between Naruto's fingers, and the last two patrons of the bar stopped eating. He rose to his feet - towering over the redhead - and glared at him for a long moment. He pointed briefly down the street before walking off. After a short pause, the redhead followed.

"...What just happened?" croaked Sakura.

"It seems," said Tenshin, quickly paying his bill. "We have a scrap on our hands."

_Later…_

Gaara stood opposite the one eyed blonde, arms folded. It had been a long time since his last visit to Fire with Chiyo and his siblings, a long time since he had been fooled into thinking he could be loved like any other person. He was wiser now: he understood that he could never have friends, never be loved, never be saved. His uncle Yashamaru had taught him well. Only by killing all who stood in his way and proving himself as the strongest could he vindicate his existence.

The look the other man was giving him, however, unsettled him; in that single, cerulean blue eye was an emotion Gaara couldn't place. Not hatred, anger or fear. If anything, it resembled… disappointment?

"Mother…" he growled. "...Wants your blood."

Naruto, of course, didn't answer.

What he _did_ do was bring up his red left arm, morphing it into cannon form. Gaara barely got his sand barrier up in time to defend from the blast, the holy power of the Innocence blowing his demonic sand apart. Activating the jets on his feet, Naruto began to glide around his target at high speeds while firing of a continuous barrage of orange spears. While initially struggling with the assault, Gaara soon started to supplement his sand with reserves gathered from deep beneath the earth; huge geysers of powdered minerals that flowed together to supplement his ultimate defense.

Naruto was so focused on his offence that he failed to notice the trap the other container had set for him. The lift from his feet was only enough to glide, so when he slid over a hole that had been opened by Gaara's sand he fell straight in. "Gokusa Maiso." smirked Gaara, as the other fighter was sucked below ground. "Sabaku So-" He was interrupted as a bright shape exploded from his trap; Naruto had used the full blast of his jet legs to propel himself to safety. He had lost his hat and coat in the technique, and his wings were in full view.

Gaara clicked his tongue in annoyance, but acknowledged that he'd need more firepower. Wrapping himself in a dome of sand he summoned a huge sand clone of himself, fist cocked back for a punch. With a single swipe of his energy sword Naruto sliced its arm apart, before switching to his claw form and delivering a rising uppercut to its chin. "Cross Grave." The cross on the back of his claw flashed green, blowing the sand giant to pieces. Pulling his wings in close, Naruto dove for the hibernating Gaara with his claw in the lead; just before they collided an arm of sand burst from the dome, meeting punch for punch with a shockwave that almost blew the watchers off their feet.

Gaara had been using the lull to partially demonize himself, the sand turning his legs and right arm into demonic, clawed aberrations matched by a huge tanuki tail. "I think," snarled Gaara, his face lit by a manic grin. "I'll kill you myself." The jinchuuriki separated, and the numerous craters and shockwaves that flashed across the training ground showed the locations of their high speed clashes. When they blurred back into focus it was in the spot they started in, once more in a collision of fists. His sand sweeping across his body to cover his left arm, face and torso, Gaara was now the spitting image of Shukaku. Raising his tail over his shoulder, Gaara fired dozens of sand bullets at his enemies face; though Naruto was barely able to bring his claw up to defend, he was pushed back several feet by the force. When the attack ceased Naruto immediately switched to his sword form and propelled himself forward, but was blown back by a colossal wave of sand.

The Ichibi itself reared up from the onslaught, a gigantic Tanuki formed entirely out of sand. Its huge yellow body was covered in black ridges, the black bags around its eyes mirroring the ones on its container. Its colossal tail flattened the forest behind it, itself nearly as big as the Biju who controlled it. With a scowl, Naruto raised his right hand above his head. "Kuchiyose no Jutsu!"

Strands of demonic red chakra flew through the air from the general direction of Lisette's favorite confectionery store, coalescing in a swirling sphere over Naruto's palm. With a roar he slammed it into the ground, prompting a terrifying eruption of raw yoki. As the Nine Tailed Demon Fox emerged over Konoha for the first time in sixteen years, the first words out of its mouth were; **"You made me drop my ice cream you BASTARD!"**

Though this remark left Gaara confused as all hell, it wasn't enough to keep him from finishing his Tanuki Neiri no Jutsu. **"Uoooooh!"** roared Shukaku, as it finally gained control of its host body. **"Yay, now is fighty time, fighty time, blood blood blood!"** Inhaling deeply, a barrage of wind bullets was launched at his enemy.

"**I don't hate this guy."** observed Lisette, sweeping the projectiles aside with one titanic arm. By this point the Konoha populace had noticed the kaiju battle going on on its doorstep, and had (just like the last chapter) descended into anarchy. However, because nobody cares, we shall speak of it no more.

Lisette - Naruto on her head - lunged forward and caught the tanuki demon in her jaws, dragging his head to the ground with her grip around his throat. Twisting what would have been a spine on a living being, Shukaku brought its tail down like a club on Lisette's back, driving her into the earth with a boom. As the enormous fox seemed to falter, her own tails reared up behind her and launched at the other demon like a salvo of extendable spears; showing shocking agility for its size the Ichibi leapt out of the way, flattening a patch of trees a half mile away as the tail stabbed into the ground.

"**Naruto?"**

"Yeah?"

"**He has a big red pimple on his forehead."**

"Lets pop it!"

"**RAWR!"** With an enthusiastic (and onomatopoeic) roar Lisette hurled herself forward. Again she caught the other beast between her jaws, but this time she impaled its tail into the ground with her own in order to prevent a counter attack.

Shocked awake by the noise, Gaara glared down the fox's nose. "Your struggling is meaningless! Soon I shall kill you and validate my exist-"

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" Gaara was almost flattened as Naruto crashed claw first into Shukaku's head. With a growl, he summoned a claw of his own around his right arm. "You make me sick!" snarled Naruto, as the two began to exchange blows. Considering their biju were still fighting beneath them, it was quite an accomplishment. "Always whining about how the world hates them so they hate it back, about how they never had a choice but to be miserable! FUCKING COWARD!"

"What do you know!" screamed Gaara, as Shukaku finally kicked the Nine Tails off. "What do you know about suffering! About loneliness! About being an outcast in your own home!" Orbs of chakra began to gather overhead, as Shukaku (for once in synchronicity with his host) prepared a Tailed Beast Ball.

"What do _I_ know?" shouted Naruto, as Lisette prepared a Tailed Beast Ball of her own. "What do _you_ know! You, who scream into the night to be saved but is unwilling to save anyone himself!"

As they finished their preparations, Gaara noted with worry that their Beast Ball was much larger than his. His decision to hide himself within his biju turned out to be the right one; though Shukaku put up a valiant effort, the spectacular clash of demonic power ended with the superior attack overwhelming and consuming the smaller one, leaving Shukaku as a imposing glass monolith in the battered woodland, surrounded by drifting ashes and burning wild life.

There was an awkward pause.

With a sound like a series of gunshots, pillars of glass began to erupt out of the ground in much the same way as Gaara had called his sand earlier. As they fed into the frozen statue's base the tanuki's neck began to extend like a gigantic serpent, rising ever upwards until a colossal glass dragon with Shukaku's face hung in the sky. Gaara rose up from its forehead, opened his mouth to preach self righteously-

-and was promptly blindsided by Peterhaussen, who landed teeth first in the Shukaku's side. Gaara found himself spinning through the air as the dragon bore the shocked Ichibi into the ground, munching on him enthusiastically. The redhead was jerked to a stop as Naruto swooped past and grabbed him by the neck of his shirt, lowering the both of them to the ground. As Lisette cheerfully leapt to Peterhaussen's aide, her partner glared balefully into Gaara's eyes.

"Eight years ago you came to Fire Country, didn't you?" He didn't let him answer. "When you did, you saw a little girl with pale eyes being bullied. What did you do?" Gaara just sobbed, eyes wide and terrified. "Answer me!" Naruto screamed, shaking him hard.

"I didn't do anything!" cried Gaara fearfully. "I just left her!"

"Those were just little boys, Ginger." snarled Naruto, his voice frighteningly quiet. "It wouldn't take much effort to help. And if you didn't care enough to save her, _why should anyone care enough to save you_." He dropped the smaller boy on his ass, glaring at him with contempt. "You want to be saved? Be worth saving." As he stalked off, Lisette abandoned Peterhaussen (who was now actively devouring Shukaku's remains) and dispersed into red mist, reforming as a tiny, white haired girl by Naruto's side.

"Were those Sand-nin?" she wondered curiously, as Gaara's siblings ran to his side. "What're they doing here?"

Tenshin shrugged amicably. "They're probably here for the Chunin Exams."

Sasuke blinked slowly. "Chunin Exams?"

Kakashi slapped his right fist into his left palm. "Oh yeah!" He pulled a sheaf of documents out of nowhere and began handing them to everyone on his team. "Here! Sign these!"

**Wow. Gaara actually put up more of a fight than Zabuza did.**

**Weird.**


End file.
